13 Hours of Rain

View Outside My Home I woke up this morning to a dark sky. And slowly, ever so slowly, the sun started to rise. While my children ate their customary breakfast of cereal, milk and fruit, the sky began to light up with oranges, purples, blues, and pinks. There is something about the hues of a winter sunrise that is different from any other time of the year. The low angle of the sun's rays combined with the reflective quality of snow crystals uniquely paint the horizon. I love it. I am thankful for the beauty I see through my camera lens. Today is the first day of winter. And I welcome this day with joy, because it means that the days will get longer. But, admittedly, I will miss witnessing the sun rise. These days I've been contemplating life's brevity. Earlier this week, my husband's school received tragic news that a Grade Twelve female student was killed in a head-on collision just outside of our city. Her funeral is on Friday, the day before Christmas Eve. I can...

It began as a trip to donate blood. I felt pretty good about myself. Here I was, carving time out of my busy homemaking schedule to give the gift of life. What a wonderful example I was setting for my family! I gave myself several pats on the back in self-congratulation. My good deed started to unravel the moment I walked in the church gym. Ques were long. The room temperature was frigid. Health care workers looked exhausted. I hugged my jacket tightly as I muttered annoyance about failing to bring my book along. Finally, after the necessary screening, I was called to officially donate blood. An hour had already gone by. I was tired, hungry, thirsty, and impatient. Yes, this was my fifth time donating blood, but it didn't seem to take THIS long! I warned the nurse about my small veins and my slow donate time. "We better call J. She's better at this." The more experienced nurse arrived after eons (she was running around ragged). Left arm poked. No blood. "Did ...

There are moments when I am acutely reminded that I am a mother of a little boy, like last Monday when he: Dumped all the toys out of a small blue box and dragged it across the floor so he can use it to climb onto the couch. Once on the couch, he proceeded to run and jump along it. Upon discovery by his Mother, the blue box was confiscated and he was removed from the couch. With Mom gone for a moment, he elected to begin the whole process again with a laundry basket. Grabbed a gratefulness count-down-to-Christmas paper chain from his sister and ripped it to smithereens. Mommy chucked the remnants into the garbage with an exasperated sigh. So much for that idea. Tore his favourite book "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?" by Bill Martin Jr. and Eric Carle for the umpteenth time (almost every page in that book has been repaired in some way by Mommy or Daddy). Book was shelved for its next repair session. Note to self: board books are wise investments for little boy...

I wonder if you can relate to the following scenario. You pick up a home & garden magazine while the cashier scans another lady's groceries. The headlines tantalize your desire to make this year’s Christmas festivities meaningful and memorable. The words, “Customized Holiday Baking Ideas” grab your attention... Please join me at Our Journey Home to read my monthly post for Family Fridays . Your support is appreciated!

Ever since my husband and I said our nuptials, we sent out a picture of our family as the annual Christmas card. Sadly, not this year. I tried, really I did, to get that perfect shot! And it happened! But for reasons too complicated to explain, the picture never materialized. Thus, no card to grace your fridge this year. Sorry. I have debated on whether or not I should go through the effort of writing in paper cards, addressing them, and sending them through the mail system to arrive at my dear friends' doors. I've hummed and hawed and wondered if the cards will suffer the fate of my cards: displayed for a while, a few sentimental ones saved for years, still others cropped for scrapbooks or crafts, and the others, well, placed in the recycle bin. Save for the short moment of joy one receives to open Christmas mail, why should I bother? Of course, there are other reasons I avoid the task such as the additional cost of stamps (tighter budget this season) and the lack of time (t...

Join us every Friday of this month at Our Journey Home for thoughts and ideas on Christmas Traditions . I'll be posting next week! Your support is appreciated.

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.” (Luke 2:8-14, NLT) This Christmas season, may God interupt your day-to-day routine with His GLORY. May He DELIVER you from all your fears. May He fill you with inexplicable JOY. And may you experience His unfathomable PEACE. 25 more days, and counting...

"When I think back to when I was a little girl, you know what image comes to my mind?" I ask my husband-to-be. His blue eyes engage with mine as he listens intently. I continue with tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm standing there, in a pretty white dress with ruffles and lace. I have my shiny church shoes on. And I'm at the edge of a big puddle. The puddle is filled with mystery as it reflects the glow of the sun. I really want to jump in and splash around. But I can't. My dress will get dirty. So I walk away." He grasps my hand and speaks with sincerity, "Well, I guess we will have to go back and jump in together." Almost six years later from that moment, I realize how my thinking has been liberated from several cultural constraints, societal expectations, and theological assumptions. But first, let me set the record straight. I have been blessed with phenomenal parents, beautiful ethnic roots, and a rich experience in the Christian Faith...

There are moments, like today, when I wonder, "Is this it? Is this how my life is supposed to enfold?" I sit at my lap top, sipping a steamed milk. The "clickity-clack" of the keys meld with the hum of my refrigerator full of food. My two precious children blissfully sleep in our beautiful home while their father, my dear husband, contentedly takes in a hockey game downstairs. Outside, our little city is quiet, serene, almost invisible except for the shadows of homes and the orange glow of streetlights. Life is predictable. Normal. And ever so domestic. I remember having a discussion with my sister a few years back. My husband and I were at the cusp of change. Employment seemed elusive in our previous urban center. A move was imminent. "You know, I would rather move overseas than to a dinky town in the middle of the prairies!" I exclaimed. My sister laughed at my words. And now I find myself here. Here! Stay-at-home-mother-of-two, single-income-singl...

In honor of Remembrance Day, I share King George VI's quote from the movie The King's Speech (2010): In this grave hour, perhaps the most fateful in our history, I send to every household of my peoples, both at home and overseas, this message, spoken with the same depth of feeling for each one of you, as if I were able to cross your threshold and speak to you myself. For the second time in the lives of most of us, we are at war. Over and over again we have tried to find a peaceful way out of the differences between ourselves and those who are now our enemies. But it has been in vain. We have been forced into a conflict, for we are called to meet the challenge of a principle, which, if it were to prevail, would be fatal to any civilized order in the world. Such a principle, stripped of all disguise, is surely the mere primitive doctrine that might is right. For the sake of all that we ourselves hold dear, it is unthinkable that we should refuse to meet the challenge. It is to...

Love these quotes that prod me to think outside the box! My own experience is that for human beings certainty does not exist, has never existed, will not— in our finite states— ever exist, and, moreover, should not. It is not a gift God has chosen to give His creatures, doubtlessly wisely. ~ Daniel Taylor, The Myth of Certainty We must know where to doubt, where to feel certain, where to submit. He who does not do so, understands not the force of reason. ~ Blaise Pascal The hightest of all is not to understand the highest but to act upon it. ~ Søren Kierkegaard The noncommitted have no right to ask any questions. ~ Helmut Thielicke Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise— why destroy yourself? ~ King Solomon, Ecclesiastes 7:16

Encouraging thoughts from one of my favorite classic authors, J.R.R. Tolkien: Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish. Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost. Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends. The Dark Lord has Nine. But we have One, mig...

My meditation as of late... Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! Apostle Paul to the Church at Philippi, Philippians 2:1-8, NIV

Quotes to inspire me, today, and into this challenging week... "Lord, I will follow Thee; but . . ." Luke 9:61 Supposing God tells you to do something which is an enormous test to your common sense, what are you going to do? Hang back? If you get into the habit of doing a thing in the physical domain, you will do it every time until you break the habit determinedly; and the same is true spiritually. Again and again you will get up to what Jesus Christ wants, and every time you will turn back when it comes to the point, until you abandon resolutely. "Yes, but - supposing I do obey God in this matter, what about . . . ?" "Yes, I will obey God if He will let me use my common sense, but don't ask me to take a step in the dark." Jesus Christ demands of the man who trusts Him the same reckless sporting spirit that the natural man exhibits. If a man is going to do anything worth while, there are times when he has to risk everything on his leap, and in the...

We approach the Eve of the Christmas Consumer Season. Once the sugary craze of Halloween passes, the stores will BURST with red, green, and all things that glitter. And then we get asked, "What do you want for Christmas? What do your kids want?" And then we receive money, "Buy something for yourself and your kids." And then we start purchasing. And then the annual collection of STUFF begins. And then, a few years later, we dispose of that same STUFF because it is useless. USELESS. I've asked my preschooler what her favorite memory was from this year. Does she remember all the gifts she received? Not really. Does she recall being overwhelmed with all the candy associated with Valentines, Easter, Halloween, and Christmas? A bit. Does she appreciate all the stuff she plays with day-to-day? Kind of. So, what does she care about? What memory sticks out? What delights her imagination? She'll tell you, "The merry-go-round and the monster-truck-ride!" ...

Louie, our Thursday afternoon kitten I am prosperous. Let's face it. I have enough food during a meal to generate left overs for the refrigerator or to collect scraps for trash cans. I own a home and a car. I reside in a city with low crime where many individuals leave their doors unlocked. I live in a neighbourhood where new moms can afford to shop at Baby Gap and possess the technology to connect via Facebook . I have a faithful husband who has a fantastic job that enables me, with some sacrifices (albeit extremely minor according to third world standards), to stay at home with our children. But I catch myself complaining about the lack of frivolity in my life. It is ridiculous, really. Which brings me to this question: " What is our responsibility to suffering humanity as prosperous first world Christians? " I've been pondering this in light of being so blessed. And my interaction with Louie , our Thursday afternoon kitten. Last Thursday, my kids and I mad...

My Little Preschooler When I was a little girl, I had imaginary friends. Don't worry, I had real "flesh and blood" friends as well. But my imaginary friends were companions to me no matter where I was. I talked to myself, carrying conversations with invisible people who had names. In addition, I utilized my imagination and dreamt up fanciful places with intriguing characters. I had time to pen silly stories that involved horses, mysteries, and childhood drama. Some nights I would just lay in bed with my eyes w-i-d-e open while I rehearsed a possible scene in my head for my "novel". I remember those days of innocence. What a beautiful time of life that was! And now I see similar tendencies in my daughter! It makes me smile with joy! I caught her in the washroom today, babbling away. "Who are you talking to?" I inquired. "The veggie tales," she responded. "Where are they?" I asked. "Over there," she pointed to a...

Today marks one year of residency in this little city. There were days when I ached to return to more familiar neighborhoods. But today, after experiencing four seasons in this home, I've arrived at the conclusion that I do enjoy living here. For that I am very grateful to God. I guess Frodo's words to Sam, in Lord of the Rings , resonate with me now: My dear Sam, you cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do. Your part in this story will go on. A special thank you to my new friends who have gone out of their way to welcome my family and I. I say it again: thank you.

Don't you just LOVE the spelling of the word "chaos"? It makes no sense! I distinctly remember the moment when I discovered the spelling of this word. My reaction? "Really??? You gotta be kidding!" No kidding. The word chaos originated from Greek and it originally meant  abyss or "the bottomless gulf, pit, or chaos of the old cosmogonies" (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary). The abyss was feared. It was equated with ideas such as emptiness and void. It included terrifying creatures associated with the underworld. It even extended to the sea and encompassed sea monsters. The Greeks were so disturbed by the idea of chaos, that they didn't even allow the number zero to exist in their counting system. Zero was equated with nothingness, a concept to be shunned. With the thought of the void in mind, take a moment to read Genesis 1:1-3 through fresh eyes: In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and VOID , a...

Lagorrhea: excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness. (Merriam-Webster On-Line Dictionary) My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19-20 (NIV) I am an observer of human behaviour. I think I might have enjoyed a degree in sociology. But alas, my natural science leanings pushed me down a different career path. Nonetheless, people watching (and listening) fascinates me. I've even caught myself eavesdropping on strangers' conversations during my public transit days. It is amazing what you can learn about people through their somewhat random dialogues. A while back I posted on a movie entitled Fight Club . The reason I mention it again is that I've been mulling over a scene between two of the main characters. They were discussing why they enjoyed attending support groups even through they wer...

Hiking with my Eccos My goal was to purchase a pair of comfy shoes to grace my feet during a Canadian west coast trip to celebrate *US*. The result? A lesson in perseverance and grace! And a FABULOUS story of excellent customer service coupled with a sweet I-CAN'T-BELIEVE-IT deal. Frantically searched for a pair of Ecco sandals in a larger urban center. The style that piqued my interested were either too expense for my budget or on sale but unavailable in my size. Settled for a pair of Romika sandals that looked a bit "senior citizenish". Oh well... Donned on the Romikas for a couple of days once I returned home. Threads on the interior of the shoe started to feel like sandpaper. Contacted the manager and negotiated a return of the shoes in the near future. Purchased a cheap sandal at Walmart . Feet HURT! Returned the shoes in spite of some wear and tear. Week before departure, searched Quarks.ca for Ecco ...

I'm losing it! I'm actually losing it! Not my mind, but those last few post-pregnancy pounds that I need to shed before autumn hits. Weight loss was much easier after the birth of my first child. But the second time around has been difficult. I finally got myself to "5 more to go" before summer hit. Then I went to visit family. OH NO! All the desserts and yummy food added two more wretched pounds to the scale. I was discouraged and frustrated. Thus, a couple of weeks ago, I got serious. I started to track my calorie intake via myfitnesspal . I increased the intensity of my weekly exercise by jogging three times a week for 25-30 minutes. And I became more consistent in drinking my daily quota of water. The result? I've lost four pounds in two weeks! :) It is possible!!! There are a few things that I have learned about reducing calories through this process: Watch your condiments . All those little things like salad dressing, jams, mayonnaise, sour cream and bu...

I am exhausted by feeling this way. Somethings gotta change. And soon, before I have to enter another year of life in this place. We are approaching almost one whole year of living in this beautiful little city. And I must admit, I am actually REALLY enjoying my life here. I guess it helps that it is summer! My flowers are in full bloom, my small row of veggies are thriving, and our yard looks pretty darn good thanks to the insightful landscaping of our predecessors. And then I go inside... I do LOVE the house that we have bought. But some days I got overwhelmed by all the renovation projects that need to be accomplished to bring my home to the standard imprinted on my mind. While I have no desire to go bigger, I definitely want things to get better. And at times I get consumed by materialist thoughts. For instance, I've contemplated paint colors ad nauseum as of late. My aesthetic dilemmas have driven me on numerous trips to the hardware store, cushions in hand, to...

As time wears on, I realize more and more how I detest the comedy genre, especially when it comes to movies. Don't get me wrong! I LOVE to laugh. But the comedies out there STINK. Usually the plots involve a bunch of stupid men or shallow women. Eventually someone gets kicked in the groin. And invariably s-e-x becomes the topic of some joke. Makes me want to gag. Sadly, most of the sitcoms out there aren't much better. What ever happened to good old fashion CLEAN comedy? Like The Cosby Show? The other day my husband and I sat down and watched an episode. And we laughed. And laughed. The humor is so simple! Yet brilliant. And as parents, we had a new appreciation of the show. Is it funny when the writers are joking over the fact that it is hard to get an elementary age kid to say "thank you"? Do you want to laugh when Cliff is trying to adjust his daughter's sweater because it is a bit revealing? Can you relate when Cliff and Claire are dizzy with excitement bec...

It started with a comment from a mom in my community. We were talking about Registered Education Saving Plans. And one of the moms mentioned she allocated the entire Universal Child Care Benefit towards her children's RESP accounts. I gulped. And panicked inside. "I'm hardly contributing anything," I thought in horror. My words came out defensive, "We can't give that amount. We need the money as a single income family." The women nodded in understanding. Then my mind started whirling. Are we budgeting appropriately? Or are we spending recklessly? Am I depriving my children of needed savings? I recently came across a helpful document by the Barnabas Foundation which outlined 10 Financial Principles from the Bible . The principles are listed as follows: God owns it all . We are just managers! Giving is essential . This goes beyond money and material possessions to include time and talents. Allow for margin . Do we consciously set aside time (and mon...

Some days I feel like I'm living in a nut house, an insane asylum, or a psychiatric ward. Someone is crying. Someone is screaming. Someone is bouncing off the walls. Someone is mumbling some gibberish I can't understand. And I'm trying to bring order to the chaos. And I only have TWO kids. True, it is really not THAT bad. But when you combine maternal sleep deprivation, an energetic toddler who constantly repeats, "Shall we go outside for a little while?" and a teething one-year-old who has been whining for over a week, then a mild form of insanity results. At one point in the morning I become a fiendish woman whose patience is extremely low and whose mind explodes with unmentionable words. I am a mother in need of GRACE. Becoming a mother is probably one of the most difficult tasks I have ever undertaken in my life. I've studied university calculus and physics. I've resided in the orient. I've taught a room full of students who were challenged...

I am assisting a group of fantastic women from my church in planning a Women's Retreat for the Fall. All of this planning has got me thinking about retreats in general. What does an Evangelical Christian Retreat look like for women? What does it look like for men? Admittedly, I have only participated in one Women's Retreat in my life. And my impressions of the retreat included well planned and well decorated. I believe that the women who attended the weekend, including myself, had a wonderful time. And there was evidence that women were given the opportunity to connect with God. Thus, in my opinion, the retreat was a huge success. However, during the event, I couldn't help but be very observant. I found myself critiquing the activities as if I was an outsider. I asked myself, "How would this weekend look like to an unbeliever? And what are the cultural norms associated with an Evangelical Women's Retreat?" Here is a list of items that seem to ...

"What color do you want?" I asked. "Pink!" she exclaimed with twinkling eyes. I gazed over the various hues and picked out a bright one. I read the label on the bottle of nail enamel: "#285 - Oh My Magenta". Sounded pink to me (Aunty K. would be proud!). "Can I hold it?" she inquired. "Yes you may. But do not open it! We need to buy it," I responded. A couple of days later, while she relaxed on her Mommy and Daddy's big cozy bed, I proclaimed, "Mommy's going to give you a pedicure! But you have to sit  really still." "Okay!" she agreed with the gushing enthusiasm of a preschooler. And she sat still, stiller than she has ever been for any activity. I painted each toe nail with care while cleaning up any spills on her delicate skin. And then I massaged her feet with some yummy peppermint plum foot lotion. "Does that feel good?" I asked. "Yes!" she smiled with joy. "I'm g...

Today, I'm thankful for simple pleasures, such as... Blogging under a lush canopy of trees. Creating a delicious and nutritious lunch from 10 different leftovers. And that even included a yummy fruit salad loaded with berries, whipped cream, and strawberry yogurt. Checking off every item on my errand "to do" list while my husband cared for our children. Anticipating a wiener roast over a fire pit. Smores will follow! Or ice cream. We'll see! :) Slurping $1 iced coffees from McDonald's . (Oh there are times I succumb to the temptation of the yellow M.) Cuddling with my two beautiful children. Laughing over a joke with my husband. Baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies using crushed Lindt & Sprüngli Easter Bunnies for our family and my husband's Science class to enjoy. Listening to my children play together and giggle together. Breathing in beautiful, clean prairie air while gazing at the splendor that surrounds me.

"No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide," (Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club , 1996). Okay, so I watched the movie Fight Club with my husband the other night. Now here are ALL the disclaimers before I write about anything else. #1 This movie has several disturbing scenes that do not meet my approval. #2 I could not have watched this movie in a theatre since I'd be subjected to stuff I rather not view. I probably would have walked out. #3 DVD's are useful. We were able to skip the profane and enjoy the storyline. Disclaimers aside, WOW! It has been such a long time since I've watched a movie whose message scintillated in my brain many hours after the final credits flickered by on the television monitor. I am not sure where to begin in dissecting the many impressions overloading my mind. Thus, here is one. Our lives are controlled by advertising. Advertising has the ability to overwhelm us with fear, distract us from deeper...

Spaghetti on the floor, compliments of my son as he experimented with gravity from the heights of his chair. "I wants!" echoing off the walls, courtesy of my daughter who hasn't quite learned how to phrase her requests in a polite manner. And the lowercase "e" fridge magnet is missing. "Where is the e???" I ask, frazzled. "Is it in the garbage?" "Yes," she replies. "Did YOU put it in the garbage?" my voice begins to rise. "Yes." "Why did you do THAT?" "Because." "BECAUSE!" I begin digging, sweeping through mango peels, egg shells, and other unmentionable refuse. No "e". "Actually, I didn't put it in the garbage," she remarked. "WHAT! Then why did you LIE about it?!!" The question reverberated in the room at dangerous decibel levels. My son looked stunned. My daughter's head dropped and accidentally hit her bowl of half eaten s...

"It must be nice to be a teacher," I've had people tell me with a bit of sarcasm in their voice, "You get the summers off!" Yes, many would like to be a teacher in the months of July and August! If they only knew what we have to do the rest of the year! I believe there are MANY misconceptions about the teaching profession. And in recent times, public disdain for the teaching profession has risen in our province. And it frustrates me because many of the complainers have no clue what it is really like to be a teacher. First, let me set the record straight for those of you who do not know. Teachers do NOT get paid for summer (which means all the hours I put in during the month in August to get ready for the school year was gratis!). We get remunerated for the days we teach. Thus, if you are a beginning teacher, with a family and a mortgage, saving for the summer can be a challenge. Second, we do not get paid, for the most part, for the extra-curricular work w...

Some days I wish to just run away to some lone hill in the middle of nowhere. There, I'd open my arms wide, tilt my head back, and let the wind sweep over me. And I'd breathe in warm air and let nature overtake my senses. Then, I'd let go. I'd let go of all the anxieties, fears, hopes, plans, dreams, visions, frustrations, and all that other stuff I am too scared to admit I feel. Silence would follow. Silence... Then God would speak... "Why are you here, my child?" He'd ask. "I'm tired, Lord," I'd reply. "Tired of what?" would come the answer. "You know..." I'd shrug. "I do. I know more deeply than anyone can. But you need to tell me. I desire to hear it from you," He'd gently whisper. "My heart is filled with so much. I feel like I'll burst. I desire so much. Some things are frivolous. Others are meaningful. I'm finding it difficult to prioritize. What should I do? What sho...