13 Hours of Rain

Dear Lord, It has been a little over two years since we moved to this geographic location. And while I feel settled for the most part, there is another part of me that feels anxious. I long for authentic connections with others. But first, I must thank you that you have provided me contentment in being a stay-at-home Mom. I wear my job description as a badge of honor and privilege. You have blessed me with two beautiful, energy-packed, normal children – one of each gender – a special gift of grace to my husband and I. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It is liberating that I don't feel like I need to tout my academic credentials in the face of others, as some stupid way of making myself feel worth it. Now I understand more clearly: I am a Homemaker. That's more than good enough for me. However, I sometimes feel alone in this journey and wish for past days of camaraderie, when I associated with fellow educators of the same faith in a distant land (best two years of m...

Dear Children, I do not know if you have figured out that Friday is "Errand Day" in our household. I drop off your Daddy at school and then both of you and I accomplish some tasks together. Today was such a day. Except for one unfortunate and beautiful moment. With your Daddy heading towards the hallowed halls of learning, I take the wheel and start to drive. I'm tired. My mind is whirling over money issues and how I need to potentially fiddle with funds to repair a water heater and clean our carpets (two unrelated maintenance items, by the way). I press some buttons on the dash to listen to a worship song, a song that might be the closing melody of an anticipated Missions Event. I yawn, while thinking. Then, I see a couple of RCMPs stationed at a school zone speed trap. I stop at the octagonal red sign across from them and make a right turn. A cop car pulls behind me. And the blue and red lights are flashing. "What did I do?" I moaned as I pull over. ...

Dear Children, Canadian Thanksgiving is upon us, and it is here that I desire to impart some lessons I'm learning at this stage in my life. It is my hope and prayer that both of you will be thankful individuals. What I am talking about goes beyond using manners to being truly grateful to God in spite of the circumstances you see yourself in. However, before I unpack this idea, let me share your recent thankfulness lists as described by yourself! My daughter, you are thankful to God for: Sun Clouds Books Doctors Bags Toy Hammer Bibles Pictures Spring House My son, you are thankful to God for: Frogs Giraffes Cows Trees Daddy Fan Clock Books Mommy Your sister I find it fascinating how your lists are different, except for "Books", which you both enjoy thoroughly. A., your list focuses on elements of nature, such as sun, clouds, and the season of Spring. You also appreciate doctors, especially since you are recovering from an injured wrist. I ...

Dear Daughter, Your Daddy discovered my desire to be a stay-at-home-Mom the first time he met me. It was a blind date set up by mutual friends. There we sat in a typical “bar & grill” restaurant eating standard North American cuisine. Our conversation turned to reminiscing about our childhood days. Both your Daddy and I spoke of how we benefited from Mothers who sacrificed careers to parent their children full-time. After our disclosures, my friend asked me right in front of your Daddy, “Is that what you want to be one day, a stay-at-home-Mom?” “Yes,” I firmly responded. Forward time to about 7.5 years later, where I am here, at home, with you and your brother. I recently resigned a permanent teaching contract with a highly sought over school board to follow your Daddy to a smaller community to (1) support his professional career and to (2) stay home full-time. Has it been worth it? “Yes,” I emphatically state. But it is not easy. Oh no. There are days when I want to scream i...