13 Hours of Rain

Dear Daughter, We watched Cinderella the other day. It was exciting for me to share a fairy tale moment with you. I understand that while your toddler mind wasn't able to understand the subtleties of the film, you were able to comprehend the basics. Yes, cats hate mice (and vice versa). Yes, Cinderella's step-relatives are mean (please don't shred other people's dresses, that's awful). Yes, fairy godmothers grant wishes (I don't believe they exist though). Yes, young women dream of marrying prince charming (well, maybe you didn't quite get that). Okay, let's pause for a moment and focus on the latter point. Women dream of marrying Prince Charming . Now, dear, there are some key lessons you MUST NOT glean from Cinderella. Do not base your decision to marry someone solely on infatuation. Oh, yes, "this is love", or so it seems. And emotions can run high in the excitement of it all. And the physical closeness can drive you deliriously crazy. ...

I've been thinking about many things. Sometimes I catch myself "blogging" in my brain. I offer a soliloquy to myself in essay fashion. But the lack of time results in the thoughts being filed on some synapse in my brain. Sometimes I can retrieve the information. Other days it vanishes in the annals of my mind. Thus I write a bite-sized blog post, one of many I hope to write this week. I hope, anyway... When is it appropriate to cut ties with people? This question is sparked through events of late. Thus, I have been reflecting on the relationships in my life. I am blessed with wonderful friends and family, many of which are privy to the struggles in my life. But I've been thinking of those individuals that I haven't heard from for a long time. I tend to be a loyal and thoughtful person, or a least I aim to be. I work hard at remembering birthdays and anniversaries. I correspond via e-mail, phone, and letters as much as I can. I try to systematically visit my f...

Having said what I posted in my previous entry , there are times when venting to God just isn't enough. We need to make a concerted effort to share our burdens with others. I believe healing comes with authenticity, transparency, and humility -- not only with God, but with people who journey along side us. But it is risky, isn't it? Sometime we MUST risk. Risk losing face. Risk being shamed. Risk feeling embarrassed. Risk rejection. I remember a time when I worked overseas. I was going through an extremely difficult and awkward situation. It was embarrassing and shameful in many ways. And it had the potential to turn into something unbecoming a follower of Christ. (Oh you are curious, aren't you??? Sorry, I'm not disclosing!) I prayed like crazy. I petitioned God to assist me, heal me, and grant me wisdom on how to handle my circumstance. The answers were not forthcoming from the heavenly realms above. Then I confessed my struggle to my sister and a dear friend. I...

I am sure you know what I am talking about. You just want to grab someone, anyone who will listen, preferably a friend or a family member, and just VENT. Let it ALL out: fears, joys, worries, stresses, disappointments, and triumphs. Yet you hold back, bottle it in, and shrug it off. Because who can really take the torrent of emotions that is in your life? Who can hold every burden that is weighing down on your soul? Who can dry every tear, smile with each joy, and comfort you in the way you NEED to be comforted. NO ONE. Let's admit it. No one can be ALL that you need. No one. Not on this earth anyway. We are walking conundrums. We don't even truly understand ourselves. Look at each person who passes you by. I am SURE they have hidden hurts, secret pains, and delirious joys somewhere inside of them. But they can't unleash the waves of feelings for fear of rejection. It is difficult to be REAL with others. Don't you think? I wonder what would happen if I sat d...

My effort was not in vain. My husband cut up the dumplings stuffed with cottage cheese and lathered the goodness with cream gravy. Salt and pepper was generously applied. A side of farmer sausage and corn was added. And then he ate his supper with a satisfied grin. I actually made Wareneki , Mennonite cottage cheese perogies. Now, I have much to learn about the art and science of producing the perfect dumpling. And, in my estimation, my mother-in-law's version tastes much superior. But I SMILE when my husband claims he can't tell the difference . (Did I mention, his comment made me smile?) Too funny! Who would have thought?! Here I am, in the midst of the fourth decade of my life (haven't completed it yet, okay!!!), living in a small city where many Mennonites reside, attending a Mennonite church, raising children with my husband who has Mennonite heritage, and now making Mennonite food. What the heck happened? Okay, okay. Don't worry! I am writing this with...

The season of Lent has begun. We are into a forty day stretch before Easter. Since I grew up Evangelical, Lent wasn't officially observed in our family. But I remember how university classmates of mine would attend Ash Wednesday Mass. They'd come back with a charcoal mark on their foreheads as a symbol of the sacrifices they vowed to make over the next month or so. Give up chocolate. Forgo coffee. No more television. The list went on. It also commemorated a special season when one would focus on repentance, prayer, and the giving of alms. I have observed Lent in the past. Admittedly, I didn't spend extra time on repentance, prayer, and the giving of alms than my usual spiritual practices. Nonetheless, I engaged in self-denial by fasting from coffee and chocolate, two indulgences of mine. This year I choose to give up everything in the dessert category (with the exception of my children's birthday cake, because you gotta celebrate!). I call it the "sw...

We have read the disclaimer, in the fine print: Individual results may vary . Usually there is one big promise. One BIG tantalizing promise. If you do THIS, you will achieve THAT. But... individual results may vary. I wonder how my outlook on life would have been different if I heard a sermon on this topic in my youth. I heard many a talk on how to live the Christian life in a certain manner. Engage in this discipline and you will receive that. It could be anything such as reading scripture, praying, fasting, giving, serving, and witnessing. Whatever it was, the message was similar. Christian "karma" will reward you. Then reality hits. Prayers don't get answered, not in way that I want. Money is given away, and I still experience financial struggles. And a witnessing formula explodes with disaster. And I have encountered several times in my life when I've done "all the right things" and God is extremely silent. Hmmmm.... individual results may vary. ...

I don't know what it is about today! Maybe it's the sunshine. Or a really GREAT night of sleep with very minor interruptions. Or the promise of spring on the March calendar. Anyway, I feel inspired! INSPIRATION. It is joyful to experience this phenomena. And it is a beautiful moment. A moment when things seem crystal clear, when ideas delightfully pop into one's brain and create an exciting synergy. It has been a while since I have felt this way. I blame the winter blahs. Frigid mornings, overcast skies, and cabin fever add to the drudgery of being without vision. Life seems like one long boring movie in which the same scene is repeated over and over and over again. Then suddenly, the creative juices start flowing again due to some outside source or inner whisper. A splash of color in a magazine. And uplifting note in a card. A meaningful passage of scripture. God's still small voice in one's heart. And I start to dream again. Today I'm dreaming of many ...