13 Hours of Rain

The planet has rotated. The sun is on the other side. My children are dreaming. My husband is reading himself to sleep. I'm here, unable to rest though my body is exhausted. My mind is cluttered with myriad of thoughts. Oh how I wish I could THINK this blog post into existence. Homemaker. That is what I am. That is what I am supposed to be. What does that mean? As I step back and reflect on the last month in this new residence, I confess that my focus on homemaking has been superficial. For instance, I look around this place and I see things that need to be changed, fixed or renovated. At times my thoughts are obsessed with "getting it right" to the extent that I hesitate to open my home to non-family members because of mild embarrassment. I can already envision my apology to guests, "Sorry about this paint color, I will change it some day..." In addition, there are unpacked boxes everywhere. I get frustrated when I am only able to put a box or two away each ...

Finally a day came when the rain clouds were blown away and the cheery sun warmed the autumn soil. Off to the park we go! It was quite the production to get everyone out the door. Baby was fed and adorned in cozy fleece outerwear. Daughter was dressed and told to wait while seated on the bottom step. Suddenly, one of our neighbors decided to stop by to welcome us to our new dwelling. During our chat, my son started to freak out on his play mat. After saying farewell to our neighbor, I rushed up the stairs to place my son in the baby carrier. The little girl was still waiting in the entrance of our home. He screamed louder as I tried to stuff him into the carrier. My frustration rose. "Why can't this kid just CALM DOWN?" The closet door rattled below. "DON'T touch the closet!" I shouted down. My son's scream reached dangerous decibel levels while the closet continued to rattle. Why did I say we'd go to the park?!? "STOP IT AND SIT DOWN!"...

I hung up the phone after talking to a couple that has been a source of encouragement and help to our family during our move. Our supper celebration at a local restaurant has been postponed due to illness. A wave of disappointment enveloped my spirit. I desired to escape these walls for a moment to enjoy an evening out. Now I needed to envision a quick yet nutritious supper for my little family. My daughter and I sat down for lunch while my son was having one of his infamous cat naps. We enjoyed a ham & cheese wrap together followed by blueberry applesauce for dessert. Suddenly I started to tear up. "Mommy is sad today," I blubbered. "Hi," my daughter replied in comfort. "Mommy crying." "Yes, Mommy is crying. I have so much to do. There are so many things that need to be done in this house. And the house is a mess." And then I get to the crux of the outburst, "Can you pray that Mommy finds a good friend? Actually, can you pray that...

I wish I have time to write an eloquent piece of prose to express my feelings at this moment. But the lack of time necessitates brevity. We are on the cusp of a new adventure. And while I say goodbye to countless beautiful memories lived in nearly a decade of residence in this city, I say hello to a new life with new dreams. I pray that God will guide us and grant us a fresh vision on how to serve Him as a family. I trust that my Lord and Saviour has etched a significant place for us in His plan for our community. Thank you for all your prayers and support during this time.