Wanna Retreat?

I am assisting a group of fantastic women from my church in planning a Women's Retreat for the Fall. All of this planning has got me thinking about retreats in general. What does an Evangelical Christian Retreat look like for women? What does it look like for men?

Admittedly, I have only participated in one Women's Retreat in my life. And my impressions of the retreat included well planned and well decorated. I believe that the women who attended the weekend, including myself, had a wonderful time. And there was evidence that women were given the opportunity to connect with God. Thus, in my opinion, the retreat was a huge success. However, during the event, I couldn't help but be very observant. I found myself critiquing the activities as if I was an outsider. I asked myself, "How would this weekend look like to an unbeliever? And what are the cultural norms associated with an Evangelical Women's Retreat?"

Here is a list of items that seem to be essential to a Women's Retreat. Items with asterisks indicate a distinction, for the most part, between a Christian retreat and a secular retreat. A similar list analysing a classic Men's Retreat will follow.

1. The retreat is held at a location removed from the church's home. Most women desire to go somewhere other than their home town to "get away from it all".
2. There usually is a spiritual theme and a catchy title to match. It is not sufficient to say, "3rd Annual Women's Retreat." It would be considered boring.*
3. Decorations are always a nice touch. Flowers and candles, including the colors pink or purple, usually show up somewhere.
4. Time spent with others is emphasized over time spent in seclusion.
5. Meals are cooked for you. Or if this is not possible, the women plan meals that are the least amount of preparation possible. After all, what women wants to cook and clean like she does at home?
6. Chocolate is a critical: dark, milk, white, whatever. 
7. No alcohol.*
8. There is a speaker who is invited to engage the audience with the selected theme. Sessions with the speaker usually resemble church in style. There is a praise and worship time. There is a sermon time. The main exception is that the speaker often desires the audience to interact with her through discussion.*
9. Usually a woman starts crying at some point.
10. The activities generally promote traditional roles and hobbies of women in Western Christian society. While women escape their domestic duties to attend the retreat, activities within the retreat resonate with the acceptable definition of a woman. Thus, one of the retreat sessions must include a craft, such as scrapbooking, stamping, or quilting. Or another event may involve exploring beauty, such as a spa experience.*

As for a Men's Retreat, here is how it compares and contrasts with a Women's Retreat. As previous, asterisks indicate a characteristic indicative of a Christian retreat.

1. Retreat is held at a location removed from the church's home. The more rugged the location, the better. Most men desire to go somewhere other than their home town to "get away from it all".
2. Christian Men's Retreats usually do not center on a theme. The event centers on an activity such as fishing, golfing or hunting. It would be sufficient to say "3rd Annual Men's Retreat" or better yet, "Man Camp". If there is a theme, the word "integrity" or "leadership" show up.*
3. Decorations!? You gotta be kidding.
4. Time spent with others is emphasized over time spend in seclusion. Though there may be more silence than a Women's retreat.
5. Meal preparation corresponds to what kind of activity the men are engaged in. For instance, golf retreats incorporate eating at the club house. On the other hand, fishing retreats utilize the camp fire.
6. Steak is a critical: rare, medium, well-done, whatever. 
7. No alcohol.*
8. If there is a speaker, the style is very casual, such as chatting over a campfire. Formal church usually does not resonate with the psyche of men. Thus, the less it looks like church, the better.*
9. Tears are extremely rare at a Men's retreat. Rather, jibing is in abundance.
10. The activities generally promote traditional roles and hobbies of men in Western Christian society. Most men desire to escape the world of work and engage in something either more primitive (e.g. fishing, hunting, etc.); more "noble" (e.g. golfing, polo, etc.); or more aggressive (e.g. contact sports).

What I have summarized is the stereotypical Evangelical Christian retreat for Women and Men according to my perspective. Keep in mind, that these retreats do not address the needs of ALL individuals. My husband and I can attest to this. Since we are both intellectuals, there are times when the events listed above bore us. It is not to say we are better than others. We are just different. For instance, I can only take a few hours of scrapbooking at a time. I don't stamp. And I rather not quilt. While I do enjoy feeling beautiful, if the event gets too "girly" and "chick flicky", I wanna gag. And I while I enjoy being with others, there are times I want to be alone to process my thoughts. My idea of a retreat probably resonates more with the Eastern Orthodox traditions of silence and meditation. Thus, I often have to seclude myself after an Evangelical retreat because I've had too much "girl time".

Similarly, my husband is not the typical "man's man". He isn't into fishing, hunting, and golfing like others. And while he is a fierce hockey fan, the idea of attending a hockey camp brings back awful memories of men transforming into savage mutants who devour the puck and anyone else in their way (and it didn't seem to matter if the person was religious or not). Mind you, my husband can play a challenging game of Axis and Allies. Thus, if there was a retreat whose theme (dare I say the word "theme" in association with a Men's Retreat) was World War II history, his interest would be piqued.

Is there anything else you have noticed about such Retreats?