Thankfulness #11: My Nut House

Some days I feel like I'm living in a nut house, an insane asylum, or a psychiatric ward. Someone is crying. Someone is screaming. Someone is bouncing off the walls. Someone is mumbling some gibberish I can't understand. And I'm trying to bring order to the chaos.

And I only have TWO kids.

True, it is really not THAT bad. But when you combine maternal sleep deprivation, an energetic toddler who constantly repeats, "Shall we go outside for a little while?" and a teething one-year-old who has been whining for over a week, then a mild form of insanity results. At one point in the morning I become a fiendish woman whose patience is extremely low and whose mind explodes with unmentionable words.

I am a mother in need of GRACE.

Becoming a mother is probably one of the most difficult tasks I have ever undertaken in my life. I've studied university calculus and physics. I've resided in the orient. I've taught a room full of students who were challenged on so many levels. I've written a thesis. And all of it seems easier than what I am doing now. Because being a mother is a 24/7, rest-of-your-lifetime job. It is a roller coaster ride full of exhilarating moments when I absolutely LOVE what I am doing and anxious dips when I'm yelling, "Get me off! Get me off!" It is a journey that illuminates my numerous weaknesses and my many strengths. And it allows me, in a minute way, to understand what God feels when He witnesses His children suffer.

And I wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING else in the world.

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