A Not-So-Perfect Mom
I am having one of those days. My daughter was fussing during her night snack. So I removed the apple-yogurt-cereal concoction I had created for her and left her strapped in the high chair while she continued her whining. "Fine," I said. "Sit there while I go have a break." I stormed out of the room and parked myself in front of the computer to read a few blogs. My poor husband had to contend with our daughter protesting in the background while he graded papers.
I admit. I am a not-so-perfect mom. Some days I am excited to interact with my little girl. Other days I count the hours until her bedtime. Most days I try to provide interactive activities for my daughter. On occasional days I pop in Baby Einstein and encourage her to veg in front of the T.V.
I came across a great article a few days ago entitled I Was the Perfect Mom: True confessions of a real life parent by Debbie Farmer. I chuckled while I skimmed through the introductory paragraph:
I used to be a perfect parent.
I had strong opinions about the best way to raise a happy, healthy, well-mannered child. I vowed that my children would appear well groomed and clean at all times. They would be disciplined by firm, fair, and consistent parenting techniques and they would always, always, be well behaved in a restaurant. And when they were older, I would instill a sense of self-confidence and mutual respect by showing them that I valued their opinions and by treating them as equals. My ideas were so straightforward and simple that I couldn't understand why other parents couldn't be as perfect as I was.
Then I had children...
Now, when my children and I go out in public, I want to stop people and let them know I am really a good parent. I want to tell them that my son is eating a Popsicle for breakfast because he is going through a phase where he will only eat blue food, and I'm running out of options...
Wow. I can totally relate with Debbie. Now I shake my head as I watch my adorable girl spewing apple-yogurt-cereal from her mouth as she simultaneously blows raspberries with her lips. From an outsider's perspective, she may appear undisciplined. Maybe she is exploring textures and sounds at the same time? I'd like to think so. Nonetheless, she isn't a perfect daughter. Neither am I a perfect parent.
One of my husband's favorite Bible passages is found in Colossians 2. It reads:
So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires. (v. 20-23)
What does this have to do with being a not-so-perfect mom? I have been doing some thinking. Regardless of what life stage you are in, we are often tempted to follow the "rules of the world" or human teachings that have the appearance of godliness but do not really change our nature. These rules become shackles on our arms and feet, hindering us from moving ahead. We become so overwhelmed by all that we are supposed to do that we lose our true focus: becoming like Christ. We spend so much energy "doing" that we stop "being".
Let's translate this to being a perfect mom. A perfect mom accomplishes all that Debbie stated and more. She keeps the house clean, cooks healthy meals for her family, and provides moral support for her husband. She enrols her kids in music lessons, swimming lessons, Bible lessons, second language lessons, and a whole other host of lessons. She teaches her children "ABCs", "1-2-3s", "please", and "thank-you". She instructs her boys and girls to pray, go to Sunday School, memorize Bible verses, and tithe on a regular basis. She books appointments with the health nurse, orthodontist, optometrist, massage therapist, and family physician. She creatively scrapbooks every year of her children's lives, proudly owns an updated video library of her family, and regularly uploads pictures on Facebook to keep friends and family in the loop. She purchases environmentally friendly products, breastfeeds her babies, creates her own organic baby food, and dresses her child in natural fibres. On top of all this, she religiously exercises, eats nutritiously, takes time to relax, and looks absolutely fabulous!
But when we do not measure up to the image of a perfect mom for whatever reason and our kids mess up, we feel like a failure. Or when we witness another mother "failing" in her tasks as a mom, we shake our heads in judgement.
"These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires." (Colossians 2:23)
While many of these rules are good, following them to the letter can cause us to become overwhelmed, thereby sidetracking us from being who we are suppose to be. Consider Colossians 3:10-15:
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn't matter [who you are]. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
What a different image. A not-so-perfect mom realizes that she needs Christ. And while she tries her utmost to meet the needs of her family, she realizes that imparting mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love is the most vital part of her role as a Mother. And she let's God's peace fill her life while she thanks God for her abundant blessings.
That's the kind of not-so-perfect mom I'd like to be.
I admit. I am a not-so-perfect mom. Some days I am excited to interact with my little girl. Other days I count the hours until her bedtime. Most days I try to provide interactive activities for my daughter. On occasional days I pop in Baby Einstein and encourage her to veg in front of the T.V.
I came across a great article a few days ago entitled I Was the Perfect Mom: True confessions of a real life parent by Debbie Farmer. I chuckled while I skimmed through the introductory paragraph:
I used to be a perfect parent.
I had strong opinions about the best way to raise a happy, healthy, well-mannered child. I vowed that my children would appear well groomed and clean at all times. They would be disciplined by firm, fair, and consistent parenting techniques and they would always, always, be well behaved in a restaurant. And when they were older, I would instill a sense of self-confidence and mutual respect by showing them that I valued their opinions and by treating them as equals. My ideas were so straightforward and simple that I couldn't understand why other parents couldn't be as perfect as I was.
Then I had children...
Now, when my children and I go out in public, I want to stop people and let them know I am really a good parent. I want to tell them that my son is eating a Popsicle for breakfast because he is going through a phase where he will only eat blue food, and I'm running out of options...
Wow. I can totally relate with Debbie. Now I shake my head as I watch my adorable girl spewing apple-yogurt-cereal from her mouth as she simultaneously blows raspberries with her lips. From an outsider's perspective, she may appear undisciplined. Maybe she is exploring textures and sounds at the same time? I'd like to think so. Nonetheless, she isn't a perfect daughter. Neither am I a perfect parent.
One of my husband's favorite Bible passages is found in Colossians 2. It reads:
So why do you keep on following the rules of the world, such as, “Don’t handle! Don’t taste! Don’t touch!”? Such rules are mere human teachings about things that deteriorate as we use them. These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires. (v. 20-23)
What does this have to do with being a not-so-perfect mom? I have been doing some thinking. Regardless of what life stage you are in, we are often tempted to follow the "rules of the world" or human teachings that have the appearance of godliness but do not really change our nature. These rules become shackles on our arms and feet, hindering us from moving ahead. We become so overwhelmed by all that we are supposed to do that we lose our true focus: becoming like Christ. We spend so much energy "doing" that we stop "being".
Let's translate this to being a perfect mom. A perfect mom accomplishes all that Debbie stated and more. She keeps the house clean, cooks healthy meals for her family, and provides moral support for her husband. She enrols her kids in music lessons, swimming lessons, Bible lessons, second language lessons, and a whole other host of lessons. She teaches her children "ABCs", "1-2-3s", "please", and "thank-you". She instructs her boys and girls to pray, go to Sunday School, memorize Bible verses, and tithe on a regular basis. She books appointments with the health nurse, orthodontist, optometrist, massage therapist, and family physician. She creatively scrapbooks every year of her children's lives, proudly owns an updated video library of her family, and regularly uploads pictures on Facebook to keep friends and family in the loop. She purchases environmentally friendly products, breastfeeds her babies, creates her own organic baby food, and dresses her child in natural fibres. On top of all this, she religiously exercises, eats nutritiously, takes time to relax, and looks absolutely fabulous!
But when we do not measure up to the image of a perfect mom for whatever reason and our kids mess up, we feel like a failure. Or when we witness another mother "failing" in her tasks as a mom, we shake our heads in judgement.
"These rules may seem wise because they require strong devotion, pious self-denial, and severe bodily discipline. But they provide no help in conquering a person’s evil desires." (Colossians 2:23)
While many of these rules are good, following them to the letter can cause us to become overwhelmed, thereby sidetracking us from being who we are suppose to be. Consider Colossians 3:10-15:
Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him. In this new life, it doesn't matter [who you are]. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us. Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
What a different image. A not-so-perfect mom realizes that she needs Christ. And while she tries her utmost to meet the needs of her family, she realizes that imparting mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, and love is the most vital part of her role as a Mother. And she let's God's peace fill her life while she thanks God for her abundant blessings.
That's the kind of not-so-perfect mom I'd like to be.