Feeling Dizzy

I have been experiencing intermittent dizziness for a couple of months. After a visit to the physiotherapist, I discovered I may have a mild case of motion sensitivity. Cause? A past viral infection, perhaps? Or I'm just getting old. Nonetheless, the treatment is to engage in exercises that purposefully bring on the symptoms. In other words, I need to bob my head up and down several times a day to make myself dizzy. Sounds a bit ridiculous. But apparently, the theory is that the brain will adjust by thinking such motion is normal.

I am wondering if such treatment applies when we are mentally losing our balance in life. Even though I try very hard to be balanced, I often feel like I am walking a shaky tight rope between two extremes. I become dizzy in the process. For instance, I want to eat healthy and exercise on a regular basis. But I also desire to stop my mental calorie count once in a while to gorge myself on chocolate cake without the guilt. I aspire to be an environmentally conscious Mother who aims to reduce waste and buy sustainable products. Yet, I do not want to be so consumed by researching the environmental impact of items that I feel panicked every time I throw something out or make a questionable purchase. I hope to explore various ways of worshipping God on a consistent basis and allow for waves of intensity in my devotional life. However, I sadly gravitate towards legalistically "making time for God" and missing God in the ritual. I aim to fellowship with other Mothers in order to enter a community of mutual sharing and encouragement. That being said, I crave intellectual conversations that focus on topics that have nothing to do with diapers or the price of meat at the local grocery store.

I desire balance. But I can't seem to find it. I feel dizzy as I attempt to live in moderation.

All of this reminds me of the mantra, "Moderation in everything, including moderation." Therefore, similar to how I am suppose to engage in physical activities to bring on dizziness, maybe I need to take an extreme stance on an issue I am trying so hard to balance. Maybe the very act of falling off the tight rope to one side will relieve some of the symptoms. Let's see... Health food nut exercise Nazi OR couch potato cake eater? Organic tree hugger Mom OR "Bring on Global Warming" disposable Mom? Lackadaisical "if it happens, it happens" devotee OR early morning "I gotta pray one hour or God will zap me" worshipper? A woman only hanging out with Mothers or a mother hanging out with Women who are not mothers?

The extremes seem absurd. Though, it helps me appreciate why people adopt the radical view on issues in an attempt to correct the imbalance. Maybe I just haven't found the area where I can be moderate in moderation. I guess I will live with the dizziness for a bit longer...

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