13 Hours of Rain

It never seems to fully go away. The burn. The mid-morning burn that causes discomfort in my chest. I'm taking meds. I'm consuming herbal supplements. I'm trying to remain calm. And I'm avoiding gluten like the plague. But more often than not, I don't feel well. I've been trying to seek answers. Naturopaths. Medical doctors. Internists. Friends. Family. Research. Food Journals. Prayer. But lately, the doors of answer (and clarity) seem to be closing on me. Appointments have been cancelled due to miscommunication. A particular doctor is not available in a near-by city during a scheduled trip. And family and friends have all kinds of advice, some that are clearly contradictory (e.g. on one hand, some people advice eliminating dairy completely while others advice I should eat more!). Last Sunday, our pastor shared this verse: "Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory," Psalm 50:15. He went on to challenge us...

My dear children, one day you will be faced with the realities of the "Great Commission", a command issued by Jesus to His disciples two thousand years ago in Matthew 28:18-20: Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age. Often when we contemplate the "Great Commission", we equate it with the work of a Missionary, in another country. We forget that ALL believers are entrusted with sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ in Word and Deed. Thus, I ask, what if we truly believed we were missionaries to the cities and towns and villages we live in, here in "Christian influenced" North America? How would this idea change how we approach our day-to-da...

This year will mark the beginning of a new decade in my life. Admittedly, I approach this milestone with some trepidation. Why is that? Because now I am really an adult. For the longest time, I didn’t feel my age. I was travelling the world when most of my friends were getting married and having kids. I spend many years furthering my education, so much so that at my 10 year high school reunion a former classmate exclaimed incredulously, “You are still in school!?” (mind you, I had returned back to complete my Masters after teaching for five years). And when I did finally married your Daddy, people mistook me for much younger since I was raising infants and preschoolers. Now I am starting to feel old. And weak. Over the past three years, my health has fallen short of the ideal. My body doesn’t function at peak performance. My mind is more susceptible to panic attacks. As a result, my spirit longs for eternal things (which is actually a good thing). I also look at your grandp...

Last week, I was in Seoul, South Korea to celebrate the marriage of your Mamu (Uncle on Mother's side) to your new Korean Emo (Aunty). One morning, I found myself typing these words at a local hotel's keyboard as I listened to the distant sounds of a city of over 10 million people outside the window: It is relatively quiet here, as your Mamu lives in a residential area where people mostly come home to sleep. Plus, it is Winter Holidays, so many people have escaped the pace of the city to a more quieter location. This city is typical of the big Asian cities of this region. Modern skyscrapers and ancient architecture. Shiny foreign cars and noisy scooters. Local authentic cuisine and McDonalds. And of course, a language filled with phonemes and inflections and characters unknown to me. I've learned three phrases here: Hello, excuse me, and thank you. If in doubt (or if I just don't know what to say) the Korean thank you stumbles out of my mouth as I bow. Yes, they b...

2013 is coming to a close. So now I reflect on the goals I set for myself in the beginning of this year and see where I have come over the course of twelve months. 1. Post on the 13th and 26th of each month in this virtual space. Yes. Did it. Though, some days I was a day or two late. But Blogger lets you post back in time. :) 2. Compose or create something significant that will bear the year 2013. I originally had dreams of painting a picture. My inspiration went by the wayside because the initial investment to get started was too overwhelming. Instead, I wrote two children’s books for both of you kids as a Christmas gift. Oh, the stories are not award-winning or even that creative. But they document a couple of significant events in your lives. My daughter, you overcame your fear of putting your head underwater during swimming lessons. And my son, you let go of your soother (or do-do has you called it for most of your life) on your own. Anyway, I am excited that I finally did s...

I presented at my Mom's Group today on the topic of budgeting. Here is my introduction to the session: Let me begin with a disclaimer or two. I do not have any professional training in the area of budgeting. I do not have any degrees in accounting, finance, and business. I’ve never worked in a bank, therefore, I will not be able to give you any advice on how much money to save for retirement, which mortgage is best, or what your financial portfolio should look like. Truthfully, if you claim to know the answers to these questions, do tell me (for free). However, I am not completely useless, rest assured. Budgeting is a hobby for me, believe-it-or-not. I actually get excited, and a bit anxious, at the beginning of every month as I sit at my computer crunching numbers for my family. And even though I come to you with no formal credentials, I do humbly stand before you as a testament of the many lessons God has taught me about money through my 39+ years of life as a daughter, siste...

It is one of those moments when my mind is in a negative funk. You am sure you know what I am talking about. That gray dismal cloud descends on your spirit and everything becomes annoying, inconvenient, and unfair. Usually there is a trigger, or two (or three). Like, not feeling 100%, hormones, insecurity, and a December budget that is dwindling faster than anticipated (ironically, I am presenting on budgeting on Tuesday -- maybe I should be the one listening). Then, I witness evidence of my off-balance state. My voice rises in frustration and anger in reaction to the ones around me (sometimes justified, sometimes not). *sigh* I am so human. So I can sit here and type away my miseries. Or I can praise God for all that is good. I'll choose the latter. I am thankful that I am a stay-at-home-mom. Oh, it isn't easy, believe me. There are days I do envy the working Mom and wish I had some regular outlet to stimulate my intellect. But, I do not desire that life, for now. I cherish ...