Thankfulness #31: Negative Funk

It is one of those moments when my mind is in a negative funk. You am sure you know what I am talking about. That gray dismal cloud descends on your spirit and everything becomes annoying, inconvenient, and unfair. Usually there is a trigger, or two (or three). Like, not feeling 100%, hormones, insecurity, and a December budget that is dwindling faster than anticipated (ironically, I am presenting on budgeting on Tuesday -- maybe I should be the one listening). Then, I witness evidence of my off-balance state. My voice rises in frustration and anger in reaction to the ones around me (sometimes justified, sometimes not). *sigh* I am so human. So I can sit here and type away my miseries. Or I can praise God for all that is good. I'll choose the latter.

I am thankful that I am a stay-at-home-mom. Oh, it isn't easy, believe me. There are days I do envy the working Mom and wish I had some regular outlet to stimulate my intellect. But, I do not desire that life, for now. I cherish reducing the chaos at this stage of parenting. The thought of juggling work, daycare, and all the other 101 things I do to assist this family in running normally is too much to mentally handle. So I accept the act of sacrificing my career and possessing zero income as a gift.

I am thankful for winter days. I can't believe I wrote that, considering the fact that I don't like being cold. However, there is something warm about this time of year. I enjoy the heat from my oven as I bake cookies, casseroles, and gluten-free bread. I am so, so grateful when our furnace kicks in and heats our house during those crazy cold snaps. I truly cherish the joy our family receives from skating and sledding (little J. has started skating and he is fearless!). And I appreciate the general friendliness of people during this time of year as they prepare for the Christmas holidays.

I am thankful for my daughter's school. Oh, I know the public school system is far from perfect as there are many policies and practices that I disagree with. But, overall, I am thankful that my daughter is benefiting from an excellent teacher who truly has my daughter's best interest at heart. Today I watched her perform in her Christmas concert. It was fun, beautiful, and full of joy.

I am thankful for the television. Another thing I can't believe I wrote down! Hey, I'm almost forty. I hang out with preschoolers when most people my age have teenagers. I don't have childcare readily available. Nor that twenty-something energy. So, plugging my kids into some show so I can have a much needed nap is not a bad idea. Don't worry, I have Mommy radar specially attuned to the voices and cries of my kids.

I am thankful for my convictions. Sometimes is it difficult to live by what I believe in, especially in the small seemingly insignificant things. I am not on Facebook. I avoid product parties. Right way, these two decisions have removed me from some ways women in my age and stage connect. At times, I feel insignificant in not knowing the going-ons of the people around me. But what can I do? I can't escape who I am and what I believe in. Does that mean I will never join social media or attend some party that is trying to sell me over-priced candles? No, not really. It just means that today, I will stick to my convictions, regardless of the consequences. I will choose to be more reclusive for the sake of personal sanity and peace, even though I may not have as many "friends".

The sun is starting to shine again. That's good...

Popular posts from this blog

Is God Good?

During "at home learning", I helped my daughter design an experiment on plants. She set up four identical pots with the same amount of soil in the same location on our deck (controlling her variables, right?). She planted two bean seeds in each pot. She watered three out of the four plants with various amounts of water (1/4 cup, 1/2 cup and 1 cup). The fourth plant only received whatever water naturally fell from the sky. At the end of one month, her hypothesis was partially verified. She thought the 1/4 cup water plant and 1/2 cup water plant would grow the best, which was true in the end. On the other hand, she guessed the others would not germinate at all. Interestingly enough, while the one that was drench in water (1 cup) did not germinate, the one she did not water at all actually grew! It germinated late but had the most steady growth. Is God good? I have been thinking about this question a lot these days. A global pandemic is still raging over our planet decimat...
Read more

Daunting {But Not Impossible}

I rarely watch the news. I catch up on the world's happenings -- where often the horror is reported -- via Google News. Or the brief blurb before classic rock on our favourite radio station. But very occasionally, at the end of the day, I take in the images of national and global headlines. Yesterday I watched the masses trek across Europe, searching for a safe haven away from war-torn Syria. I witnessed little kids crying as they tried to rub away tear gas sprayed by unrelenting border police. The message? You are not welcome in this country. I choked up as a father and his son fell to the ground after being tripped up by guards. The look of desperation on people's faces was heart breaking. Our country is nearing a Federal Election in October. Many voters are curious how the next Prime Minister will address the Syrian Refugee Crisis. Here is an excerpt from The Globe and Mail : Mr. Mulcair [NDP] and Mr. Trudeau [Liberal] condemn Mr. Harper [Conservative] for lacking...
Read more

Banking in the Now

This month we are trying something different: banking in the now instead of the tomorrow. Oh, it is nothing new, really. I used to operate like this in my single days. But then the lure of credit cards with reward programs persuaded me otherwise. While I never gave Visa the joy in collecting any interest payments from our bank accounts and I always payed our credit card bill before the 21 days of grace were up, I probably spent more than I should have some months. Why? Because I didn't have to pay for it immediately . It was not until last year that my credit card habits started to bother my conscience. Up to that point, I felt proud of the fact that the credit card company was paying me to use their plastic. I received stuff for free, even after paying my annual fee. Free fuel. Free flights. Free hotels. Free is good, right? My perspective started to change after I read a blog post penned by my sister. Her and her husband cut up their credit cards after a series of events, o...
Read more