Thankfulness #24: In Spite of Illness

Dear Gracious Healer,

Our kids have spent the last 1.5 weeks recovering from various illnesses. Both have been on antibiotics. Both are catching up on sleep from prolonged middle-of-the-night coughing spells. And both are whinnn-y!

There were days this last week I was tempted to pack it all in, resign my position as stay-at-home-Mom, and trade jobs with my husband for a good and long while. Hey, I'd happily teach other kids and let someone else deal with two snotty-nosed children who don't seem to understand that increasing their fluid intake will indeed do them a whole lot of good!

It is here I pause, re-focus, and look to you, my Gracious Healer.

In lieu of reading passages of scriptures for "daily devotions", I have opted to work on scripture memory. God, your Word is powerful! In faith, transform me as I aim to imprint the following words on my mind, my heart, and my soul.

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15 NLT

If this week has taught me anything, it is this: there are definite limits on my mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, even when it comes to my own sick children. I usually start of with good intentions. I have the depth of love to console, cuddle, and care for others through the night (or two or three). Then, sleep depravity takes over. I become lonely for interactions with others outside my home (or I just want to be all alone for hours). I ache to be outdoors, running around with my kids and filling my lungs with prairie winter oxygen. Instead, I hear myself yell, "The Kleenex box is there! Wipe your own nose. And go to bed. Stop whining for crying out loud!"

Remember, the Lord forgive you, so you must forgive others...

You know who I need to forgive, Lord? Me. Myself. And I. I desperately need YOU!!! I need your peace to RULE my heart.

And always be thankful.

I desire to be genuinely thankful in spite of today and the last few yesterdays. God, I believe you have been teaching me about this area through observations and scripture. The current trend in many Christian women's circles is follow the works of Anne Voskamp, in particular her book One Thousand Gifts. You know how I am skeptical of trends and band wagons (where is the Prayer of Jabez today, I ask?). Nonetheless, I picked up her book and started to read. Even though I didn't finish her work of non-fiction (her writing style doesn't resonate with me at all) and chose not to keep a log of one thousands gifts (just not me), I do agree with her main message: practice thankfulness.

So, how can I be thankful now, when I feel so exhausted from taking care of others?

One of the things I am tempted to do is to offer thanks based on worst-case scenarios. I have caught myself saying sentences such as, "I thank God that my kids haven't been admitted into the hospital with a life threatening illness." Or, "I thank God I am not running for my life like people in Mali." Now, I don't think there is anything wrong with such thanks. However, it is a bit of a cop out. I mean, how can I be thankful in the here and now instead of what could have been?

Thus, I ponder during this brief moment of quiet. Am I thankful that my kids are sick? No. I'm not. I rather have them well, obviously! However, what can I be thankful for?

Here I practice. I am thankful for...
  1. A small city that has excellent doctors and an accessible walk-in clinic for our health care.
  2. The finances to pay for prescriptions drugs and a drug plan that covers most of the expense.
  3. My children can now communicate their hurts.
  4. An understanding husband who gives me a break when I need it.
  5. Apple juice, Acetaminophen, and Ibuprofen were on sale!
  6. People who are praying for our family.
  7. Even though I am not a perfect Mommy, I am my children's Mother and I am here to take care of them full-time.
  8. My husband has paid sick-days, so in the event I become ill, he can take over.
  9. One hour of Sesame Street.
  10. A blog that can be used for prayer.
  11. Playing Candy Land with my kids.
  12. My son's words, "I want you Mommy. Can you hold my hand?" and my daughter's words, "You are the best Mommy!"
  13. My children are getting better.
Thank you, my Lord, my God, my Gracious Healer.

Love,
Rain

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