Need to Clear the Fog...

I need fresh inspiration. Or actually, a bit of rest. Or maybe a chance to slow down and not worry so much. I am not sure what I need right now. So many thoughts. Not enough time. Feeling random. Wondering how this post will enfold if I just-let-go.

Summer is coming. But I am scared. That as soon as it starts, it will be over. Pessimistic, I know. I would like to do so much over the next few months. Plant flowers. Fix banisters. Paint a living room. Maybe even build some raised garden beds? So much to do!!!! So little time... At the same time I'd like to e-x-p-l-o-r-e. What makes this region unique? What memories do I want to create with my family? Where do I want to go???

Sometimes I am tired of putting other people's needs over mine. Selfish, I know. Do other Mothers feel this way? Right now I feel this way. What do you do when your baby is crying for two hours in the middle of the night when you are soooooo tired and soooooo exhausted. You rock that precious child and put aside your sleep for a while. What do you do when your car is becoming too squished for family travel when your kitchen seems to scream its flaws. You save money for a future vehicle and put aside your dreams for a renovated space for a while. Surrender: difficult.

I don't want to vote. But I will. Because I am blessed to live in a country with a stable democracy. But if they call another election in the next year because this one results in the same old mess, I will NOT vote in personal protest. Sometimes I wish I could let myself vote based on shallow reasons. Like which leader would make the most attractive Prime Minister. My choice would be Jack Layton and the New Democrats. What would be yours?

I should get a nap... To clear the fog in my brain...

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