Thankfulness #32: Scattered



There are days I mourn that fact that my birth family is scattered all around the globe. In weak moments, I envy those who have every sibling within a day’s driving distance. And sometimes I sincerely wish I was called to re-located to another corner of the world just to experience adventures along with your Mausi, Mausa, Mamu & Emo.

Truthfully, I just miss my family. I miss the synergy of having everyone under the same roof and witnessing your Nana & Nani glowing with contentment.

This coming week I turn 40. Yes, forty, four decades or 1.26 billion seconds. To celebrate my birthday, I requested a little holiday with just you kids and your Daddy. I did not want the stress of orchestrating a duel family gathering to celebrate my day (though I have given your Daddy a ten year warning to plan a party for my 50th Birthday!). Neither did I want the reminder of how most of my side of the family was missing (the good-byes are still raw). So, being the control-freak that I am, I chose to transport my party out-of-city, out-of-province and spend it with those who are currently constant in my life.

Constant. I guess nothing is truly constant, is it? Your Mausi and I had a conversation in Seoul, and we asked, “What if we were like many and we lived in the same city and spend time with each other often, face-to-face? What would that feel like?” We couldn’t even fathom the answer, because, it has never been our normal. From the moment each of us (except your S. Mausi) reached adulthood, we began to travel and live abroad. As siblings (and siblings-in-law), we have visited every continent except Antarctica (no plans to go there, yet). In some divine way, we were destined to be globe trotters.

Which is why it is sometimes so difficult to live here, in little prairie southwest, where many people are more than content to stay home and maybe visit the neighboring province in their RV.

It is tempting to bemoan my existence and covet the lives of others. There is always someone out there who is living a life that appears more exhilariting or more spiritual than the mundane tasks of a domestic Canadian.

Yet, I am learning to embrace my reality as God’s plan for me now. It is a difficult lesson to learn. God, in His divine providence, has given me a family of two children (when I wanted four in my twenties), asked me to be a full-time homemaker (when I yearn to utilized my gifts of teaching and leadership on a grander stage), placed me in the familiarity of my birth country (when I often long for world adventures), and given me a stomach that seems to hate everything (when I wish for “perfect” health). This is God’s ideal for me at this point in time. Therefore, I will, with God’s enabling, be thankful.

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