Inter-Generational Care Groups (And Mentoring)
After three years of attending our church and feeling disconnected with the people in our place of worship, we finally took the initiative to start a care group. Since care groups are not an official part of our church structure (there are unofficial groups meeting in homes), we realized either we had to embrace building community here or we needed to leave to find it somewhere else.
To deal with the childcare issue, we decided to hold our care group during your Sunday School program. Thankfully, three other couples joined us on our journey to study a book of the Bible together.
And it has been refreshing.
Our group is inter-generational. We are the youngest couple with the youngest kids. The eldest couple has grandchildren. We have people representing various church experiences and denominations. We have farmers and teachers; healthcare works and carpenters. We have a multitude of ministries represented from Bible Camp Representatives to Missions Liaisons to Deacons. It is a diverse group, to say the least.
For the month of February and part of March, we are studying the book of Titus, a seemly obscure book in the New Testament. It is a pastoral letter, that is, a letter written to encourage and instruct a pastor in establishing and nurturing a church. And while 1 & 2 Timothy tend to get favored in sermon series, Titus is also a book that deserves attention.
This Sunday we discussed the first ten verses of chapter two. One large section caught all of our attention:
Yet, today's churches struggle with the model of mentorship as depicted above. Instead, we tend to compartmentalize the ages and stages through our programs. Children. Youth. College & Career. Young Marrieds. Young Families. Families with Tweens/Teens. Middle-Aged. Senior. Some programs are mentored through adult leaders, while others fend for themselves. I don’t think these groupings are wrong in themselves (unless you don’t really fit anywhere, such as when I was single and people my age were newly married and producing children). I have benefitted from interacting from a group of people who are living my now. Nonetheless, I believe there is a danger if a church organizes its program solely on ages and stages. After all, if we only interact with those who are generationally similar, we lose the Godly wisdom of those believers who have traversed more decades than us. Likewise, we do not have the opportunity to teach the younger generation the depth of our faith (and the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else).
That being said, I don’t think mentorship should be "legislated" in our churches. Rather, it should be encouraged and sought after. Inter-generational care groups are one way to promote dialogue and community across the years. Gender specific studies for multi-aged groups are another method. And good old fashion one-on-one mentoring is, of course, the classic approach.
Kids, when I was in my late twenties/early thirties, I benefitted from a mentor. This woman was older and wiser than me and had life experiences that challenged my assumptions about Christianity and Christian living. She attended a church different than mine, which was actually refreshing. She wasn’t a big advice-giver. She listened to me process my thoughts out loud. She fervently prayed for me. She grieved over my struggles and she rejoiced over my triumphs. She was God’s gift to me during a time when I struggled with singleness and considered dating an enigmatic, fascinating man who is now known as my husband and your Daddy. I am eternally grateful for her support. And I pray, that someday, the both of you will benefit with such an experience.
To deal with the childcare issue, we decided to hold our care group during your Sunday School program. Thankfully, three other couples joined us on our journey to study a book of the Bible together.
And it has been refreshing.
Our group is inter-generational. We are the youngest couple with the youngest kids. The eldest couple has grandchildren. We have people representing various church experiences and denominations. We have farmers and teachers; healthcare works and carpenters. We have a multitude of ministries represented from Bible Camp Representatives to Missions Liaisons to Deacons. It is a diverse group, to say the least.
For the month of February and part of March, we are studying the book of Titus, a seemly obscure book in the New Testament. It is a pastoral letter, that is, a letter written to encourage and instruct a pastor in establishing and nurturing a church. And while 1 & 2 Timothy tend to get favored in sermon series, Titus is also a book that deserves attention.
This Sunday we discussed the first ten verses of chapter two. One large section caught all of our attention:
2 Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience.Previous to this section, Paul was instructing Titus, for whom the book is named, on how to select elders for the churches in Crete. He goes on to explain how to promote right teaching within the church. One way to ensure correct doctrine was to teach the older men and women critical aspects of the Christian faith. These men and women were expected to live with integrity and wisdom. And, in turn, they were expected to teach the younger generation. Young women were supposed to learn from older women on how to love their family and work in their homes while doing good and being wise, pure, and submissive. Essentially, they were taught what it meant to be a Christian woman within the context of Cretan culture (and I do believe that much of these aspects are still relevant today, though “work in their homes” has been reconceptualized in the 21st century).
3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.
6 In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. 7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.
Yet, today's churches struggle with the model of mentorship as depicted above. Instead, we tend to compartmentalize the ages and stages through our programs. Children. Youth. College & Career. Young Marrieds. Young Families. Families with Tweens/Teens. Middle-Aged. Senior. Some programs are mentored through adult leaders, while others fend for themselves. I don’t think these groupings are wrong in themselves (unless you don’t really fit anywhere, such as when I was single and people my age were newly married and producing children). I have benefitted from interacting from a group of people who are living my now. Nonetheless, I believe there is a danger if a church organizes its program solely on ages and stages. After all, if we only interact with those who are generationally similar, we lose the Godly wisdom of those believers who have traversed more decades than us. Likewise, we do not have the opportunity to teach the younger generation the depth of our faith (and the best way to learn something is to teach it to someone else).
That being said, I don’t think mentorship should be "legislated" in our churches. Rather, it should be encouraged and sought after. Inter-generational care groups are one way to promote dialogue and community across the years. Gender specific studies for multi-aged groups are another method. And good old fashion one-on-one mentoring is, of course, the classic approach.
Kids, when I was in my late twenties/early thirties, I benefitted from a mentor. This woman was older and wiser than me and had life experiences that challenged my assumptions about Christianity and Christian living. She attended a church different than mine, which was actually refreshing. She wasn’t a big advice-giver. She listened to me process my thoughts out loud. She fervently prayed for me. She grieved over my struggles and she rejoiced over my triumphs. She was God’s gift to me during a time when I struggled with singleness and considered dating an enigmatic, fascinating man who is now known as my husband and your Daddy. I am eternally grateful for her support. And I pray, that someday, the both of you will benefit with such an experience.