Matrimonial Pedagogy

My husband. I am very thankful for him. Yes, there are times when our personalities seem to be polar opposites of each other, thereby causing short moments of tension in our lives. Yet, these moments have served to strengthen and refine our individual personalities. By God's grace, we are becoming better people because of knowing each other. Here is a short list of what I have learned from him. Some lessons are profound, others are simple and practical (and a bit funny).

1. When you are adding spaghetti to a pot of boiling water, grasp the dry noodles on both ends and snap them towards the pot. Shorter noodles are easier to cook. Furthermore, snapping the noodles towards the pot allows for splinters to enter the water instead of the surrounding area.

2. If you need to keep score of points during a card game, list the players on your record sheet clockwise in reference to yourself. This increases the efficiency of record keeping.

3. Just because there is silence in answer to a question doesn't mean the respondent is ignoring you. He may need some time to think before providing an intelligent reply. Be patient.

4. There is always a situation 100% worse than the one that you are in. Try to limit yourself in dwelling within the mire of your life. Look at what you have and be thankful.

5. Embrace coasters as your friends. These tiny pieces of fabric, foam, metal, or wood will work tirelessly to save the surfaces around you.

6. Try to keep your clothes clean. Do not wear your best shirt to do housework or to clean a dirty diaper.

7. Sadly, many female van drivers need to retake their driver's examination. Some of them are a legitimate threat to the safety of others.

8. Get an education, either formally or informally. Ignorance is a poor excuse in life. Read, read, read. Be willing to listen to perspectives that are not your own.

9. Do not expect people to follow your view of Christian spirituality. Do not judge others on their abilities to engage in the disciplines. For example, some families engage in corporate prayer several times a day. Others do not. This does not mean the former is closer to God than the latter. Nonetheless, seek God in the way God has designed you to seek Him.

10. When your church's congregation is asked to participate in a responsive reading, try not to mimic the monotonous pattern around you. Your God is NOT dead. Read with emphasis and conviction, no matter how ridiculous it may sound to the people around you.

11. If your technological gadgets are decreasing your face-to-face contact with other humanoids, you have a problem. Turn off your fancy "text messaging" cell phone, close your Facebook page, and go out for coffee with an actual person.

12. Please realize that just because a person utterly detests broccoli, it does not mean he has a grievance against the personality of someone who does. He can love you but not the vegetable.

13. Be sensitive towards die hard hockey fans during the summer months. This is a difficult time for their spirits.

I'll stop at 13. I love you, my dearest!

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