13 Hours of Rain

She woke up with a runny nose and cough, again, for the umpteenth time this fall. I sighed. My plans for the morning began to evaporate before my eyes. I really wanted to go. We were invited to another Mom's place were several others were gathering. I made the dreaded phone call. The conversation went something like this: "My daughter woke up with a cold. I was totally ready to go! I got the car this morning. I even baked the muffins I promised to bring. But, she's sick," I explained with marked disappointment in my voice. "Oh, not again! Though there are already snotty kids here," she replied with a chuckle. "Really? I just don't like spreading the germs." "Come on over with your germs!" she replied enthusiastically. "Are you sure?" "Totally!" So I bundled my kids in their snowsuits and piled into the car. The morning was simple. We hovered around a table working on various Christmas crafts. The ki...

I am faced with a technological dilemma. What technology should I invest my time and money into? DSLR Camera I enjoy photography, though my dream of being a professional photographer vanished after taking a photography class. I realized that aspiring photographers are a dime a dozen. Plus, it takes a lot of talent to get the perfect picture, talent that I have in limited quantities. Nonetheless, I get a bit thrilled looking through the lens of a camera. I had fun with my parent's SLR camera when I was younger. I experimented with aperture settings and shutter speeds. Some of my pictures turned out pretty good. Others were a disaster! The digital age arrived and, in typical quasi-Luddite fashion, it took me a long time to purchase a "point-and-shoot" digital camera. Once my husband and I made the deal, we starting wracking up hundreds of pictures. Of course, like most people, how to best store those pictures has been an issue. Cd's? USB keys? Removable hard drives?...

Today, as my children napped, I listened to one of my favorite albums by Nichole Nordeman entitled "This Mystery". The majority of the title song's lyrics are below. Wow. The words really encapsulated how I'm feeling these days. The words in parentheses are my thoughts on the lyrics. Hope it speaks to you where you are in your life. Say goodnight to the light of the setting sun One more day, one more way Of keeping track of all I've done (I'm trying, really I am. Some days I throw garbage in the laundry basket and place the hot chocolate container in the microwave. :)) I run this race, keep this pace I'm doing fine (most of the time) And I won't stop until each box Gets checked a second time (yah, me and my lists!) And life becomes the round and round Revolving door that won't slow down It won't slow down (these kids are growing up so fast, I am scared I am missing so much of their lives as I worry about stupid things) This r...

Kids were sick. Now husband is sick. Got out for Mom's group. Yay! Though mostly I am stuck in the house taking care of feverish brows and runny noses. Oh, I hope I don't get ill! I don't have TIME to get ill!!! I believe the act of Motherhood was entrusted to me to remind my over-achieving, perfectionist spirit to let go and let God. I am a control freak, but I can't control the people in my life. I'd like to control the physical chaos in the my world by putting things back into order, like those boxes in my basement - argh!!! But alas, I'm dolling out medicine, pouring apple juice, nursing a baby during the night, reading another story to my toddler, and worrying about the health of my family amongst other things. It's okay, because I've been whispering these verses under my breath over and over again: Be anxious for NOTHING , but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the PEACE of G...

I had an epiphany on Saturday, a moment of clarity in which I realized I need to make some positive changes in my life to reduce stress and improve my mental health. Essentially, I must take care of myself if I hope to take care of others. It is crucial that I invest time in things that energize me so I can embrace the good, bad, and the ugly of mothering. I believe that mothers struggle with taking care of themselves. The moment we conceive, we are thinking of the little life inside of us. We adjust our lifestyle to result in the healthiest pregnancy possible. We hope and pray, as we labour through hours of pain, that our newborn child will be strong and resilient. Once our bundle of joy (and tears) arrives, we give of our own body (if possible) to nourish the child at all hours of the night and day. We are consumed with feedings, elimination patterns, and infant development. We give, give, give. And if we have more children in our life, we give more. On top of that, if we have ...

To my little family: Sorry that I made oatmeal for supper again. I ran out of time to cook something substantial. You are all are awesome to slurp it up as if it is the best meal ever. Sorry to my son who is wailing in his crib. I'm coming honey, after I put your sister to bed. Daddy is working tonight, so there is only me for you two. Sorry to my daughter who is only getting one story instead of three. Your brother is balling his eyes out. Gotta settle him down. Sorry that I am spasing out on all of you. I am going a bit stir-crazy in this house as we battle through our third round of colds this fall. Sorry that the t-shirts are all wrinkly, my love. I did the laundry last night, dried it this morning, and folded it this evening. I am glad you understand. To my guests: Sorry that our living room walls resemble various poop colors. Yah, I don't know why someone would like to surround themselves with such shades. I will change them one day. Sorry that we haven...

I have been thinking about my purpose in life. My recent contemplative outlook has been brought on by the sad news of friends and family facing their final days on this earth. In one case it has been expected. In other case it has been incredibly sudden. What is my purpose? As a believer in Christ, I know what I have been commissioned to do. I must share my faith in word and deed. I must reflect the characteristics of Christ to those around me. I must love God and love people. I am pretty useless in doing this on my own, thus I must desperately depend on God's Holy Spirit and surrender myself to Him so He can complete His work in me. Sounds fantastic, doesn't it! And it is formidable. But how does this translate in the everyday? How does this intertwine with our secret desires and dreams that haunt our souls? Here are some of my current reflections on the above purpose and questions. Be present in the moment. Last night I was rocking my son to sleep. And my mind was wand...