Christian Accountability?
Our church experience in this town has been a roller coaster of emotions. We have gone from "What a friendly place!" to "Why in the world do they do it this way? It makes no sense..." to "Should we leave and attend somewhere else?" to "Hey, someone actually understands our perspective!" to "Yes! Good things are happening here!" to "So, should we become members?"
Our church has done a commendable job in presenting a renewed Membership process. Both your Daddy and I have appreciated the teaching on the topic. However, there is one aspect of membership that gives me pause for thought, namely "Christian Accountability".
Accountability is defined by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary as "the quality or state of being accountable; an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions." Truthfully, I wonder if accountability, as defined above, adequately describes what Christians need in their interpersonal relationships with other Christians. Usually, when I think of an accountability group, I think of men sitting around on couches talking about the sins in their lives, promising to pray for each (sorry men, I have rarely heard of female accountability groups. For some reason we don't need them?). Then the next week, the guys gather again and they bluntly ask each other if they did this or did not do that. So I wonder, what if some men are just going through the motions and lying? After all, if someone confessed something terribly wrong, would that mean they would be kicked out of the church? Or would grace and reconciliation be present instead?
I think when a lot of church-goers hear the word "accountability", it conjures images of a rough shepherd's staff used to keep the flock in line. And you can almost hear a deep voice warning you, "You are accountable for your actions here. If you mess up, there will be consequences!" Now, I am not promoting wild living where we do whatever we want, whenever we want for the jolly good fun of it, never facing the consequences of our actions. I do believe in consequences, positive and negative ones. And I do remind the both of you on many occasions to remember the consequences. However, there is one thing that will never change between you and me. I will always be your mother. You will always be part of our family. And I love you. No matter what. Yes, you may decide to walk out on me, but I promise you, with God's empowering, I will never walk out on you. In the case that I fail you in the day-to-day (because I will), forgive me as I forgive you. And remember, God will never, ever leave you nor forsake you.
What if churches looked at membership and accountability just like that, as a reciprocating graced-based relationship between two flawed beings overshadowed by the perfect, loving, just God. What if both sides of the membership equation, the local church and the individual, committed for a long term relationship, through the best AND the worst?
I read an insightful article by Mike Foster entitled Why I Don't Believe in Christian Accountability. The points offered by the author totally resonated with me. He suggests that churches should step away from the word "accountability" and replace it with "advocacy", where advocacy is described as "active support, intercession, or pleading and arguing in favor of someone." I totally love this image! Because, when I think of the people whom I consider myself accountable to, the word "advocate" better defines them than "accountability partner". They are the people who cheer me on, believe in my God-gifted abilities, exhort me (and reprimand me) when necessary, and pray for me diligently. And thankfully there are individuals in this circle that I could go to during a moral crisis, for I know that they will not reject me, but rather walk with me through the mess towards healing and reconciliation.
However, is it necessary that I have such an advocate in my local church? What if that never happens? Does that mean one should or should not become a official member of that church? I still don't have the answer to that question.
Our church has done a commendable job in presenting a renewed Membership process. Both your Daddy and I have appreciated the teaching on the topic. However, there is one aspect of membership that gives me pause for thought, namely "Christian Accountability".
Accountability is defined by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary as "the quality or state of being accountable; an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions." Truthfully, I wonder if accountability, as defined above, adequately describes what Christians need in their interpersonal relationships with other Christians. Usually, when I think of an accountability group, I think of men sitting around on couches talking about the sins in their lives, promising to pray for each (sorry men, I have rarely heard of female accountability groups. For some reason we don't need them?). Then the next week, the guys gather again and they bluntly ask each other if they did this or did not do that. So I wonder, what if some men are just going through the motions and lying? After all, if someone confessed something terribly wrong, would that mean they would be kicked out of the church? Or would grace and reconciliation be present instead?
I think when a lot of church-goers hear the word "accountability", it conjures images of a rough shepherd's staff used to keep the flock in line. And you can almost hear a deep voice warning you, "You are accountable for your actions here. If you mess up, there will be consequences!" Now, I am not promoting wild living where we do whatever we want, whenever we want for the jolly good fun of it, never facing the consequences of our actions. I do believe in consequences, positive and negative ones. And I do remind the both of you on many occasions to remember the consequences. However, there is one thing that will never change between you and me. I will always be your mother. You will always be part of our family. And I love you. No matter what. Yes, you may decide to walk out on me, but I promise you, with God's empowering, I will never walk out on you. In the case that I fail you in the day-to-day (because I will), forgive me as I forgive you. And remember, God will never, ever leave you nor forsake you.
What if churches looked at membership and accountability just like that, as a reciprocating graced-based relationship between two flawed beings overshadowed by the perfect, loving, just God. What if both sides of the membership equation, the local church and the individual, committed for a long term relationship, through the best AND the worst?
I read an insightful article by Mike Foster entitled Why I Don't Believe in Christian Accountability. The points offered by the author totally resonated with me. He suggests that churches should step away from the word "accountability" and replace it with "advocacy", where advocacy is described as "active support, intercession, or pleading and arguing in favor of someone." I totally love this image! Because, when I think of the people whom I consider myself accountable to, the word "advocate" better defines them than "accountability partner". They are the people who cheer me on, believe in my God-gifted abilities, exhort me (and reprimand me) when necessary, and pray for me diligently. And thankfully there are individuals in this circle that I could go to during a moral crisis, for I know that they will not reject me, but rather walk with me through the mess towards healing and reconciliation.
However, is it necessary that I have such an advocate in my local church? What if that never happens? Does that mean one should or should not become a official member of that church? I still don't have the answer to that question.