Anti-Virus
It started with my monthly budgeting routine. Checking bank statements for accuracy. Balancing our accounts. Viewing our credit card statement for any errors.* Then I found something suspicious. A strange charge to some banking corporation in Ireland. A red flag was raised in my mind.
I called your Dad over and asked him what this was all about. "Did you make the charge? The charge was made today. No? Are you sure that this has nothing to do with our anti-virus software? No? Okay. I should contact the credit card company right away? Okay."
So I made the call. Agent 1 thought it was strange. I was forwarded to security. Agent 2 wanted me to check if it was our anti-virus software annual renewal. Apparently, the company likes to use European financial institutions. I called your Dad over and asked him again, "Can you check your 'junk' e-mail? Ohhhh. It was them. Sir, it's okay, it was our anti-virus software company after all. I apologize."
I hung up. I was upset. I felt embarrassed.
Your Dad apologized. I was still mad. I thought he had dealt with this issue already, making sure the company wasn't going to automatically charge our credit card again. I guess not. My anger kept bubbling, instead of subsiding. Your Dad apologized again. My demeanor remained tense and reserved.Your Dad understandably got upset. I wasn't letting it go.
I managed to put you, my son, to bed, while your Dad read stories to your sister. I blubbered through the Adam & Eve story, as it described how sin entered the world through humanity's desire to be God. We believed the lie that God's plans are not good. We knew better. How wrong we were then. How wrong we are today.
Our Sunday School Class is almost finished working through the book How People Change by Lane and Tripp. The book addresses what happens when we encounter "heat" or difficulties in our lives. When our old self, our sinful self, faces a negative situation, we often resort to certain negative behaviours: Deny. Avoid. Escape. Blame. Magnify. Take revenge. Make excuses. Become self-righteous, prickly, hypersensitive or paralyzed. As followers of Christ, we have been given a new self. Our minds and hearts are under the process of transformation. Sometimes it is instantaneous, where we are graced with victory over an area of sin. Usually it takes years to change who we are (and perfection will only come in the next life). And it doesn't come by "doing the right things" per se. Change happens if we live in surrender to God, confessing our sin and asking God to change our hearts. If our heart changes, our behaviours will change. Our new self will approach the "heat" in our lives with appropriate intensity. We will face reality, trusting God. We will be alert and not succumb to our old nature or allow the evil one to torment us. We will engage in constructive activity instead of holding on to bitterness, guilt, pride or revenge.
Later on that evening, I sat beside your Dad in the post-bedtime quiet. I apologized for magnifying the issue. He apologized for not dealing with the company earlier. Then I sat in silence for a while, trying to process why I was so upset earlier.
Then it came to me. I wanted your Dad to feel guilty. I wanted him to feel the weight of my inconvenience, my embarrassment. I wanted him to know that if he had just listened to me and did what I asked immediately way back when, this moment would have been avoided. I wanted him to grovel. I wanted to magnify the situation, take revenge while being self-righteous and hypersensitive. I had put on my old self.
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4)
Your Dad accepted my confession with grace. He forgave me. He understand where I was coming from. He reminded me that our strengths can become our weakness. And we prayed that God will change our hearts.
*Yes, we haven't completely phased out our one credit card yet. We still need the card for some on-line transactions in Canada. However, generally speaking, we debit all our other transactions directly from our chequing account, as we believe credit cards have created more problems in our society than good. Though, we are trying not to be self-righteous about our stance. Click here to read more.
I called your Dad over and asked him what this was all about. "Did you make the charge? The charge was made today. No? Are you sure that this has nothing to do with our anti-virus software? No? Okay. I should contact the credit card company right away? Okay."
So I made the call. Agent 1 thought it was strange. I was forwarded to security. Agent 2 wanted me to check if it was our anti-virus software annual renewal. Apparently, the company likes to use European financial institutions. I called your Dad over and asked him again, "Can you check your 'junk' e-mail? Ohhhh. It was them. Sir, it's okay, it was our anti-virus software company after all. I apologize."
I hung up. I was upset. I felt embarrassed.
Your Dad apologized. I was still mad. I thought he had dealt with this issue already, making sure the company wasn't going to automatically charge our credit card again. I guess not. My anger kept bubbling, instead of subsiding. Your Dad apologized again. My demeanor remained tense and reserved.Your Dad understandably got upset. I wasn't letting it go.
I managed to put you, my son, to bed, while your Dad read stories to your sister. I blubbered through the Adam & Eve story, as it described how sin entered the world through humanity's desire to be God. We believed the lie that God's plans are not good. We knew better. How wrong we were then. How wrong we are today.
Our Sunday School Class is almost finished working through the book How People Change by Lane and Tripp. The book addresses what happens when we encounter "heat" or difficulties in our lives. When our old self, our sinful self, faces a negative situation, we often resort to certain negative behaviours: Deny. Avoid. Escape. Blame. Magnify. Take revenge. Make excuses. Become self-righteous, prickly, hypersensitive or paralyzed. As followers of Christ, we have been given a new self. Our minds and hearts are under the process of transformation. Sometimes it is instantaneous, where we are graced with victory over an area of sin. Usually it takes years to change who we are (and perfection will only come in the next life). And it doesn't come by "doing the right things" per se. Change happens if we live in surrender to God, confessing our sin and asking God to change our hearts. If our heart changes, our behaviours will change. Our new self will approach the "heat" in our lives with appropriate intensity. We will face reality, trusting God. We will be alert and not succumb to our old nature or allow the evil one to torment us. We will engage in constructive activity instead of holding on to bitterness, guilt, pride or revenge.
Later on that evening, I sat beside your Dad in the post-bedtime quiet. I apologized for magnifying the issue. He apologized for not dealing with the company earlier. Then I sat in silence for a while, trying to process why I was so upset earlier.
Then it came to me. I wanted your Dad to feel guilty. I wanted him to feel the weight of my inconvenience, my embarrassment. I wanted him to know that if he had just listened to me and did what I asked immediately way back when, this moment would have been avoided. I wanted him to grovel. I wanted to magnify the situation, take revenge while being self-righteous and hypersensitive. I had put on my old self.
20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4)
Your Dad accepted my confession with grace. He forgave me. He understand where I was coming from. He reminded me that our strengths can become our weakness. And we prayed that God will change our hearts.
*Yes, we haven't completely phased out our one credit card yet. We still need the card for some on-line transactions in Canada. However, generally speaking, we debit all our other transactions directly from our chequing account, as we believe credit cards have created more problems in our society than good. Though, we are trying not to be self-righteous about our stance. Click here to read more.