Thankfulness #30: New Stages of Parenthood

A New Cubbie
My son, you were grinning from ear-to-ear as your got ready for your AWANA (Bible Memory Club) evening. "I am going to school today!"

"AWANA is your school?" I asked.

"Yes!" Lately, you have been inspired by school. Earlier in the day, you spend lunch with your sister, munching ham and pineapple pizza, with your eyes wide open, taking in all the sights and sounds of her castle-esk elementary school. I could almost read your mind, "Wow! So this is where A. goes in the morning. It's not scary at all!"

"Three more minutes until my school!" you proclaimed, holding up three little fingers as I changed your clothes. The countdown began, until you announced "0 more minutes!" once we left the house.

How excited you are, how different from the last two weeks when you didn't want to leave your Mommy's side. You are growing up, my little man.

During the car ride after AWANA, you recalled a game you played, "I played this chair game. When the music stopped, you had to sit down on a chair. If you didn't, you had to sit on the floor."

"So, what happened to you in the chair game?" I replied.

"I won...the chair game."

Sometimes I catch myself biting my lip and holding my breath as you and your sister's childhood flies by faster than I imagined. Those endless nights filled with feedings and diaper changes seem like a distant memory. And now, I've entered the world of school. For the most part, I am content. My daughter, I enjoy being the Mommy of a KG'er. I revel in filling out forms, reading newsletters, and running around the house with you collecting colourful paper and buttons and ribbons and sponges for your class' craft corner. I look forward to field trips and volunteering in your space. The adventures of my new stage in parenthood are only beginning!

Yet, in moments of quiet reflection on the decade or so past, I wonder what my life would have been if I was married young and had the four kids I thought I always wanted. I am a good Mother. (Not a perfect one, as you well know. My weaknesses abound. My emotions get the better of me more than I care to admit.) I am getting better at this gig. All in all, I try my best while embracing God's grace for my failings and pride. So, should that mean that people like your Daddy and I earn the right to parent more kids?

No. Not really.

And, that's okay. Truly. Because life isn't always about what you want, what you desire, and even what you hoped for. Life is about embracing your reality, your circumstances, with open hands, as a precious gift from God. This is the way my story was to be written. You are the children I was meant to have. Only two. Our two. It doesn't matter what could have been, what should have been. This is what is. And I WILL be thankful.

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