"Working it Out" over Cake

The Kids & I at the Wedding
It seemed like it was an argument about cake. I wanted some. He didn't. We drove away with two tired kids in a huff. It was a lose-lose situation. I didn't get my dessert in the beauty of the moment. My husband didn't get the early-to-bed privilege before the long drive home the next day.

Our day began earlier. We had driven through almost five hours of rain. The kids were amazingly good, save for our son's momentary car sickness. We had a few incidents along the way like fueling-up at the most shanted-out Shell I've ever encountered. Or getting my fingers caught in the door of the car as the wind slammed it shut (praise God I suffered only a mild bruise).

Finally, we arrived at our hotel and put on our best. Why? A wedding, of course! Our niece's wedding. An outdoor wedding.

We reached the venue in good time. And thankfully, things were dry. The ceremony was beautiful. (If I wasn't so much of a control freak, I would have loved having an outdoor wedding, but alas, the many contingencies would have driven me mad. Anyway, I digress...) The Bride was gorgeous. The Groom was beaming. The decorations were creative and complimented the river-side location and the couple who pledged their love and commitment to each other. The reception was fun and I enjoyed my red wine while my kids danced to their hearts' content.

And I was looking forward to a slice of wedding cake with a cup of coffee.

Meanwhile, as the evening wore on, my husband's energy and enthusiasm dwindled. He stresses of the week ahead began to weigh heavily on his mind. A gas tank that is almost empty. A seven hour drive home. Mountains of marking. Final exams.

He just wanted to get home safely after some decent sleep. It is already after 9 p.m. The kids are getting tired and over-stimulated.

The minister who performed the wedding mentioned in his meditation that marriage shouldn't be work. It should be fun. I kind of get where he is coming from. Who wants a marriage that is drudgery and high maintenance? Nobody.

However, marriages have moments when you have to "work it out". Clearly, my husband and I were miscommunicating. Both of our desires were first and foremost in our minds and we were finding it difficult to see the other person's point.

Why can't HE just wait twenty more minutes so I can enjoy the final moments of this reception with some delicious cake and aromatic coffee? What's twenty minutes? The kids are having so much fun dancing! Why hold on to the almighty schedule during this magical evening?

Why can't SHE understand I'm tired and that our gas tank is almost empty? And I want to get enough rest tonight so we can get home without ending up in an accident due to exhaustion! After all, what's the big deal about cake! Cake is just cake!

So we drove back to our hotel in tense silence. We found a gas station, thankfully, with only 13 km left in our estimated range of travel. Once in our room, we let out our frustrations in front of our kids. We realized how tired and stress-out we have been over the past few months with our duties at home and at school, so much so that it is difficult to have fun on a holiday. We realized how few close friends we have in our city and how we are truly each other's best friend. And we forgave each other.

The next morning, compliments of my mother-in-law's foresight, we ate four slices of wedding cake with our fingers. :)

Dear Children,

If God wills for you to marry, I pray that you will choose a spouse who works out his or her marriage while having fun. And may you and your spouse be each other's best friend.

Love,
Your Mommy

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