Diversify
Dear Lord,
It is one of those afternoons when I've got fifty minutes tops to composed something memorable on this space. The breakfast and lunch dishes are still piled on the counter. My husband's laundry is overflowing in his clothes hamper. And my kids are plugged into a Veggie Tales.
Yup, I'm not getting top honors in house cleaning or parenting at this moment. Oh well.
I've been pondering on the whole area of gift projection, when a person passionately believes that all Christ Followers should be excited or motivated in a particular area of spiritually. You can translate this into the secular world as well. Whether we want to admit it or not, we have certain standards that we impose on others. Take the whole world of Mothering. We live in a world where the blaring voices of the information age bombard our living spaces. Mothers are told that they should do this. Or that. Or else this or that will happen to their precious little one. Anyway, I digress.
If I reflect on my personality, I realize that I hold certain behavioural traits as axioms, so much so, that I catch myself projecting my expectations on others. And when the expectations are not reciprocated, I feel hurt or highly annoyed.
For instance, I consider myself a very intentional person, especially when it comes to building relationships with others. I pride myself in keeping in touch with others and finding out details about friends and family so I can remember them in prayer. I am a "card sender" (which is becoming very rare in this virtual reality world) who truly enjoys commemorating people's birthdays and anniversaries. I invite people in my home, feed them and offer then a warm bed to sleep in, if need be. I ask questions of others, because I really want to care. After a while, I'm not content with the token "Hello, how are you" coupled with the quelled response "I'm fine, thanks" when I meet regular acquaintances. I ache to be honest, to communicate openly and clearly, and to go beyond the surface to the stuff that really matters.
But not everyone is like me.
Being a stay-at-home Mom has brought all of this relationship building woes to the forefront. I spend a good deal of 24-hours with my two kids within the four walls of my house. Admittedly, I get lonely for real interaction with others (and I'm talking real, not the mostly contrived stuff in large groups). My husband is great and I am so thankful that he is truly my soul mate. Talking to him after his adventures in teaching Science is one of my favorite times of the day. In spite of this good conversation, I miss the hub-bub of being a career woman and the resultant affirmation that comes with embracing a position associated with a pay cheque (though I wouldn't trade what I have now for what I had then). And in every significant job of my past, I inherited a significant friend (or two) whom I would see on a regular basis (and who are still my close friends to this day).
In this present stage of parenting preschoolers, it is a challenge for me to consistently meet with people outside my home for deeper one-on-one interaction. Let's face it. People are busy. We all have our own lives with our own set of problems and commitments. And other fleeting distractions (or legitimate interruptions) compete for our attention. Thus, if I get a fly-by e-mail from someone or an occasional phone call from a person who is near and dear to me (with exception to our parents who, being parents, keep in touch with us weekly), I count myself fortunate.
In the meanwhile, I am trying to diversify. I need your guidance, Lord, to invest in new people to fill in the gaps of my friendship/relational needs. I need your courage to go beyond my comfort zone to spend time with people whom I might not normally hang out with (i.e. older church members, individuals in secular organizations, etc.).
Also, please empower me to be gracious with others. I must keep on meditating on these words, "You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others," (Colossians 3:13). I ask you, Lord, to help me avoid projecting my friendship expectations on others. Instead, I "...must clothe [myself] with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience," (Colossians 3:12b). After all, I probably am failing some friend or family member out there and I'd hope they'd extend mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience towards me.
Veggie Tales is done. Gotta go...
Love,
Rain
It is one of those afternoons when I've got fifty minutes tops to composed something memorable on this space. The breakfast and lunch dishes are still piled on the counter. My husband's laundry is overflowing in his clothes hamper. And my kids are plugged into a Veggie Tales.
Yup, I'm not getting top honors in house cleaning or parenting at this moment. Oh well.
I've been pondering on the whole area of gift projection, when a person passionately believes that all Christ Followers should be excited or motivated in a particular area of spiritually. You can translate this into the secular world as well. Whether we want to admit it or not, we have certain standards that we impose on others. Take the whole world of Mothering. We live in a world where the blaring voices of the information age bombard our living spaces. Mothers are told that they should do this. Or that. Or else this or that will happen to their precious little one. Anyway, I digress.
If I reflect on my personality, I realize that I hold certain behavioural traits as axioms, so much so, that I catch myself projecting my expectations on others. And when the expectations are not reciprocated, I feel hurt or highly annoyed.
For instance, I consider myself a very intentional person, especially when it comes to building relationships with others. I pride myself in keeping in touch with others and finding out details about friends and family so I can remember them in prayer. I am a "card sender" (which is becoming very rare in this virtual reality world) who truly enjoys commemorating people's birthdays and anniversaries. I invite people in my home, feed them and offer then a warm bed to sleep in, if need be. I ask questions of others, because I really want to care. After a while, I'm not content with the token "Hello, how are you" coupled with the quelled response "I'm fine, thanks" when I meet regular acquaintances. I ache to be honest, to communicate openly and clearly, and to go beyond the surface to the stuff that really matters.
But not everyone is like me.
Being a stay-at-home Mom has brought all of this relationship building woes to the forefront. I spend a good deal of 24-hours with my two kids within the four walls of my house. Admittedly, I get lonely for real interaction with others (and I'm talking real, not the mostly contrived stuff in large groups). My husband is great and I am so thankful that he is truly my soul mate. Talking to him after his adventures in teaching Science is one of my favorite times of the day. In spite of this good conversation, I miss the hub-bub of being a career woman and the resultant affirmation that comes with embracing a position associated with a pay cheque (though I wouldn't trade what I have now for what I had then). And in every significant job of my past, I inherited a significant friend (or two) whom I would see on a regular basis (and who are still my close friends to this day).
In this present stage of parenting preschoolers, it is a challenge for me to consistently meet with people outside my home for deeper one-on-one interaction. Let's face it. People are busy. We all have our own lives with our own set of problems and commitments. And other fleeting distractions (or legitimate interruptions) compete for our attention. Thus, if I get a fly-by e-mail from someone or an occasional phone call from a person who is near and dear to me (with exception to our parents who, being parents, keep in touch with us weekly), I count myself fortunate.
In the meanwhile, I am trying to diversify. I need your guidance, Lord, to invest in new people to fill in the gaps of my friendship/relational needs. I need your courage to go beyond my comfort zone to spend time with people whom I might not normally hang out with (i.e. older church members, individuals in secular organizations, etc.).
Also, please empower me to be gracious with others. I must keep on meditating on these words, "You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others," (Colossians 3:13). I ask you, Lord, to help me avoid projecting my friendship expectations on others. Instead, I "...must clothe [myself] with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience," (Colossians 3:12b). After all, I probably am failing some friend or family member out there and I'd hope they'd extend mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience towards me.
Veggie Tales is done. Gotta go...
Love,
Rain