Feeling Churched
I think I am at risk of being pulled into the church vortex. And it scares me. Because being at church and being involved in church sponsored activities is very comfortable. Filling my life with people who are associated with my church, a place I am extremely grateful for, seems like the normal thing to do.
When I moved here, I desired to develop authentic friendships with two groups of people: people inside the church and people outside the church. The first goal is progressing well. But my second goal remains elusive.
Three years ago, my former church held a retreat. Our speaker was thought provoking and challenging. He said that we have room in our lives for about 150 people, including family. This number is not arbitrary. Apparently studies done on group dynamics have revealed that a person is only able to keep track of about 150 people in their lives. He also said that a person will probably be close to about 12 people, similar to Christ and his disciples (Try it! Does this prove true for you?). Unfortunately, many people in the church tend to fill their lives with like-minded individuals (though this is more of a human problem than a church problem). Thus, we do not have room in our lives to develop meaningful friendships with people who believe differently from us. As a result, we are not truly sharing the Good News of Christ's transforming power with others. Instead, we sit in our bubble and bounce ideas off of people who reflect the same ideas back.
The challenge for me is to find people outside the church that I naturally connect with (which can be difficult as a stay-at-home mom). Because I don't want to befriend a person for the sake of making her my project. In other words, I do not want to fabricate a friendship with an individual for the sole reason of proselytizing. I desire to be a true friend. And a true friend allows for reciprocity. As Christians, we often look at non-believers with the intention to help them, change them, and save then through the power of Christ. But we forget a key component. Non-believers can be used by God to draw us closer to Him and become more like Christ. They can speak into our lives in ways that another Christian may not.
Here are some questions our speaker asked us to ponder:
Does the church exist for the sake of existence in order to perpetuate its own mission? OR, does it exist to support the mission of its people who are motivated by what they have experienced in Christ?
Anyway, I could reflect on these questions ad nauseum. In the meanwhile, my prayer for myself is that God will grant me wisdom on how much time to spend at church doing "church-type" activities. And I pray that God will lead me to people outside the church with whom I may develop authentic, meaningful relationships.
When I moved here, I desired to develop authentic friendships with two groups of people: people inside the church and people outside the church. The first goal is progressing well. But my second goal remains elusive.
Three years ago, my former church held a retreat. Our speaker was thought provoking and challenging. He said that we have room in our lives for about 150 people, including family. This number is not arbitrary. Apparently studies done on group dynamics have revealed that a person is only able to keep track of about 150 people in their lives. He also said that a person will probably be close to about 12 people, similar to Christ and his disciples (Try it! Does this prove true for you?). Unfortunately, many people in the church tend to fill their lives with like-minded individuals (though this is more of a human problem than a church problem). Thus, we do not have room in our lives to develop meaningful friendships with people who believe differently from us. As a result, we are not truly sharing the Good News of Christ's transforming power with others. Instead, we sit in our bubble and bounce ideas off of people who reflect the same ideas back.
The challenge for me is to find people outside the church that I naturally connect with (which can be difficult as a stay-at-home mom). Because I don't want to befriend a person for the sake of making her my project. In other words, I do not want to fabricate a friendship with an individual for the sole reason of proselytizing. I desire to be a true friend. And a true friend allows for reciprocity. As Christians, we often look at non-believers with the intention to help them, change them, and save then through the power of Christ. But we forget a key component. Non-believers can be used by God to draw us closer to Him and become more like Christ. They can speak into our lives in ways that another Christian may not.
Here are some questions our speaker asked us to ponder:
Does the church exist for the sake of existence in order to perpetuate its own mission? OR, does it exist to support the mission of its people who are motivated by what they have experienced in Christ?
Anyway, I could reflect on these questions ad nauseum. In the meanwhile, my prayer for myself is that God will grant me wisdom on how much time to spend at church doing "church-type" activities. And I pray that God will lead me to people outside the church with whom I may develop authentic, meaningful relationships.