Thankfulness #23: Lessons of 2012
Dear God,
It is the Eve of a New Year. In this moment, I feel thankful.
This year has been intense. You placed me on a steeper-than-usual learning curve over the course of twelve months. Overall, it has been good. Very good. Lonely at times. But full of rich lessons.
I started off this year by reading Radical by David Platt, and was convicted of the North American drive to create heaven on earth instead of building the Kingdom of God. The book propelled me to shift my ministry focus from a thriving group of women who excel in investing in our local community to the Missions Committee, a group of two people. Lord, it has been an enlightening (and lonely) experience. Thank you that my husband agreed to partner with me this year. We discovered a wonderful elderly couple on the committee who are dedicated to the exciting work occurring overseas through various Mennonite based organizations. Their zeal for Missions is inspiring! May you continue to bless them.
Yet, as I mentioned Lord, the journey has been lonely. In retrospect, I realize that World Missions is a relatively minute segment of our church's focus (or so is my impression after attending our church for two years). Granted, sometimes that is the way it is. Certain churches excel in particular spiritual pursuits. Our church is to be commended in their ministry to women, mothers and young families. And I have benefited greatly from such ministries! But Missions, especially overseas investments in least reached areas, is an aside, an afterthought, a brief mention in the bulletin at best. We are simply not a "sending church".
I just finished Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osbourne. What a fascinating book! It challenged many of the assumptions I have had about you, God, and how to best seek you. Ideas such as "God should be the centre of your life instead of your first priority" have been beneficial in realigning my focus to a more authentic relationship with you. During my read, you convicted me of "Gift Projection" where I have been guilty of expecting everyone else to be just as passionate as me about a particular area of Christianity. After all, shouldn't everyone care that there are millions of people in India who have never heard of the name Jesus? I...guess...not...?
This is where I struggle. And this is where the journey has been lonely. Matthew 28:19-20 states, "Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." God, you command us to go. But what does that look like for me, here in this small urban sanctuary? I believe you have called me to stay for many, many reasons. But I find it hard to accept that everyone is called to stay! In the meanwhile, how does one motivate others to do something that is uncomfortable and risky without being (1) self-righteous and (2) hypocritical? How can our tiny committee assist a group of people to catch a vision for outreach that is radical, innovative and truly loving that avoids treating the group being reached as a project?
I don't have answers. Only questions. And fears (because I like being comfortable, to be perfectly honest). But I thank you that it is not up to me to change the world. That's your job. (Though you might use me in some little way towards that purpose.)
In the meanwhile, I thank you that you have been my main source of encouragement as I plod on, especially as I battled through other issues along side the one discussed above (i.e. letting go of my childbearing years, ongoing GI health issues, perfectionism, etc.). Several times this year I felt that certain people in my life were not encouraging me in the way that I needed to be. Then you provided me with an epiphany. Stop looking to people for encouragement and affirmation! Look to your Lord God for refuge and strength. He. Will. Provide. And you have, through unexpected means and unexpected individuals. For this, I thank you immensely.
Your Daughter,
Rain
It is the Eve of a New Year. In this moment, I feel thankful.
This year has been intense. You placed me on a steeper-than-usual learning curve over the course of twelve months. Overall, it has been good. Very good. Lonely at times. But full of rich lessons.
I started off this year by reading Radical by David Platt, and was convicted of the North American drive to create heaven on earth instead of building the Kingdom of God. The book propelled me to shift my ministry focus from a thriving group of women who excel in investing in our local community to the Missions Committee, a group of two people. Lord, it has been an enlightening (and lonely) experience. Thank you that my husband agreed to partner with me this year. We discovered a wonderful elderly couple on the committee who are dedicated to the exciting work occurring overseas through various Mennonite based organizations. Their zeal for Missions is inspiring! May you continue to bless them.
Yet, as I mentioned Lord, the journey has been lonely. In retrospect, I realize that World Missions is a relatively minute segment of our church's focus (or so is my impression after attending our church for two years). Granted, sometimes that is the way it is. Certain churches excel in particular spiritual pursuits. Our church is to be commended in their ministry to women, mothers and young families. And I have benefited greatly from such ministries! But Missions, especially overseas investments in least reached areas, is an aside, an afterthought, a brief mention in the bulletin at best. We are simply not a "sending church".
I just finished Spirituality for the Rest of Us by Larry Osbourne. What a fascinating book! It challenged many of the assumptions I have had about you, God, and how to best seek you. Ideas such as "God should be the centre of your life instead of your first priority" have been beneficial in realigning my focus to a more authentic relationship with you. During my read, you convicted me of "Gift Projection" where I have been guilty of expecting everyone else to be just as passionate as me about a particular area of Christianity. After all, shouldn't everyone care that there are millions of people in India who have never heard of the name Jesus? I...guess...not...?
This is where I struggle. And this is where the journey has been lonely. Matthew 28:19-20 states, "Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age." God, you command us to go. But what does that look like for me, here in this small urban sanctuary? I believe you have called me to stay for many, many reasons. But I find it hard to accept that everyone is called to stay! In the meanwhile, how does one motivate others to do something that is uncomfortable and risky without being (1) self-righteous and (2) hypocritical? How can our tiny committee assist a group of people to catch a vision for outreach that is radical, innovative and truly loving that avoids treating the group being reached as a project?
I don't have answers. Only questions. And fears (because I like being comfortable, to be perfectly honest). But I thank you that it is not up to me to change the world. That's your job. (Though you might use me in some little way towards that purpose.)
In the meanwhile, I thank you that you have been my main source of encouragement as I plod on, especially as I battled through other issues along side the one discussed above (i.e. letting go of my childbearing years, ongoing GI health issues, perfectionism, etc.). Several times this year I felt that certain people in my life were not encouraging me in the way that I needed to be. Then you provided me with an epiphany. Stop looking to people for encouragement and affirmation! Look to your Lord God for refuge and strength. He. Will. Provide. And you have, through unexpected means and unexpected individuals. For this, I thank you immensely.
Your Daughter,
Rain