Stop While You Are Ahead
Lately, I started to track my calorie intake. It's not because I desire to be thinner per se. I just need to loose the stubborn amount of weight I've gained from indulging in too much good food and delectable desserts during my holidays. Plus, it is a great way to be reminded of healthier food choices and smaller portion sizes.
However, there are moments when temptations arise and I want to snitch something unnecessary. While I am not as hard on myself as in the past, my mind often cautions me with these words, "Stop while you are ahead." What do I mean by this? Well, it is just my reminder to stop before I overstretch myself and overload on unnecessary weight-gaining calories. Usually my self-talk works and I stop.
Now this post isn't about weight loss. Rather, it is about the ongoing process that I am experiencing in letting go of my children's infant years and moving on to embrace the years to come. Honestly, that last few months have been challenging (and probably the cause of some of my stress as described in my last post). I've let go of much stuff: infant clothes, maternity clothes, toys, baby gear, and feeding supplies. I am learning to rejoice in the growing family of others, such as my sister and her husband who are having baby #3 in the Fall. I'm encouraging myself to look forward to the exciting years to come with my two beautiful children. And I can actually write this stuff down without bursting into tears!
At the same time, I am acknowledging that my efforts pale in comparison to the peace that God can only provide during decision making. I can do all the "right things" to mourn what could have been if we were younger. But it is only by God's love and grace and wisdom that I can move on with confidence in the path that seems set before me. After all, if God believes it is necessary to intervene in our situation and bless us with more children in spite of our plans, He would, wouldn't He?
In the meanwhile, I am embracing the words "Stop while you are ahead, Rain! Stop childbearing and start child rearing!" After all, things are beginning to feel normal again. Our kids are more independent and life doesn't seem as frenzied. My husband and I have more time together. My shoulder/neck injury is finally starting to heal. And we are able to minister in our community to a greater degree through opening our home to guests, serving in the church, and volunteering in the community. After all, God knows me and knows what I can handle. Thus, it is okay to have less children, if that is what works best for us. Yes, some people may label me as selfish or a control-freak because I don't want to feel overwhelmed with too many children. Yes, I still need to work through my fears (caused by an inaccurate view of God) such as losing one, or both, of my children before I leave this earth. Yes, my kids may totally despise each other years down the road and wish there was a third sibling in the loop. Yes, .... It's. Okay. Rain. Everything will be okay. In the end. And today. Only by God's grace. Therefore: Just stop.
However, there are moments when temptations arise and I want to snitch something unnecessary. While I am not as hard on myself as in the past, my mind often cautions me with these words, "Stop while you are ahead." What do I mean by this? Well, it is just my reminder to stop before I overstretch myself and overload on unnecessary weight-gaining calories. Usually my self-talk works and I stop.
Now this post isn't about weight loss. Rather, it is about the ongoing process that I am experiencing in letting go of my children's infant years and moving on to embrace the years to come. Honestly, that last few months have been challenging (and probably the cause of some of my stress as described in my last post). I've let go of much stuff: infant clothes, maternity clothes, toys, baby gear, and feeding supplies. I am learning to rejoice in the growing family of others, such as my sister and her husband who are having baby #3 in the Fall. I'm encouraging myself to look forward to the exciting years to come with my two beautiful children. And I can actually write this stuff down without bursting into tears!
At the same time, I am acknowledging that my efforts pale in comparison to the peace that God can only provide during decision making. I can do all the "right things" to mourn what could have been if we were younger. But it is only by God's love and grace and wisdom that I can move on with confidence in the path that seems set before me. After all, if God believes it is necessary to intervene in our situation and bless us with more children in spite of our plans, He would, wouldn't He?
In the meanwhile, I am embracing the words "Stop while you are ahead, Rain! Stop childbearing and start child rearing!" After all, things are beginning to feel normal again. Our kids are more independent and life doesn't seem as frenzied. My husband and I have more time together. My shoulder/neck injury is finally starting to heal. And we are able to minister in our community to a greater degree through opening our home to guests, serving in the church, and volunteering in the community. After all, God knows me and knows what I can handle. Thus, it is okay to have less children, if that is what works best for us. Yes, some people may label me as selfish or a control-freak because I don't want to feel overwhelmed with too many children. Yes, I still need to work through my fears (caused by an inaccurate view of God) such as losing one, or both, of my children before I leave this earth. Yes, my kids may totally despise each other years down the road and wish there was a third sibling in the loop. Yes, .... It's. Okay. Rain. Everything will be okay. In the end. And today. Only by God's grace. Therefore: Just stop.