God's Diamonds
"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." Matthew 13:44
There was a man who discovered something in a field one day. A shiny object that flashed in the sun. When he bent down to examine it, his heart nearly lodged itself in his throat. He jumped up and looked quickly around. Nobody had seen him. His hand began to tremble, and his breathing became short. He could not take the object, because it was not his to take, yet it was very, very valuable. But he had to have it, you see. No matter what else happened, he realized in that moment that he had to own that treasure... Now let me ask you a question... Does this man want this treasure?... Ahh, yes. If you want to walk into the kingdom, you also must have this kind of desire. Without such desire, the man never would have done what he did next... He covered the diamonds so that no one would find them, and then he went home in a frenzy and sold his house and everything he owned... If he owned the field, he would also own the treasure. So he gave up everything and bought it. It's the way with the kingdom. You must want it like the man wanted the treasure. ~ Blessed Child, Bill Bright & Ted Dekker.
How much do I desire the kingdom of heaven in my life? I consider myself a believer in the truth that Jesus Christ's death and resurrection will transform broken hearts by grace alone. However, how much am I willing to surrender completely to this truth? How desperately do I want to be drowned by His love? And since drowning implies death, am I willing to stop inhaling the worldly oxygen that I am so used to consuming?
Two nights ago I dreamt I was talking to a former colleague, bemoaning the state of my pension fund. I have taught in five different educational institutions after being granted my Bachelor of Education degree. Sounds stupendous in terms of experience, but the locations of some of my teaching assignments coupled with time off for maternity, mothering preschoolers and extra education has resulted in a pathetic retirement plan. Thus, I was complaining in my dream as I processed our financial reality in REM sleep.
Clearly my dream confirms my worries about what will happen in my life 25 years from now, which may or may not even exist. As for God's kingdom??? It seems distant, unattainable, almost too common and (dare I say...) boring...
It is like I've seen diamonds -- and even committed to owning them! -- while being fascinated by the dung in the gutter.
I am not proposing that I should sell my house today and board some plane to serve in the jungles of Indonesia. Rather, I desire to stop the endless distress about human pursuits. Yes, my recent job loss has taken the wind out of my sails and many of the financial plans I had to finally "get ahead in life" have crashed against the rocks. And yes, there are times I am incredibly tempted to fantasize about how life might be somewhere else, where career opportunities are more accessible or the spiritual harvest fields are more ripe or I am more fantastical and worthy of being followed (haha!). Instead, I find myself here, in prairie southwest, where life is painfully slow at times.
Truthfully, I feel distracted, weary, confused. The diamonds have always been here. But the gutter preoccupies my mind. How I wish for the veil to be lifted for a moment, so I can see with God's eyes!!! What does it mean for me to sell everything to purchase diamonds in a field, here in this town, with my husband and two sweet kids???
So what am I trying to do next year? I am going to school. I am even teaching a Math course for the welding program at the college (a welcomed development). I will be busy. Maybe too busy? Life will feel out of balance for a while. I will encounter new kinds of stress (like writing exams -- ahhhh!!!). Where are the diamonds in all of this?
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
Seek first his kingdom. And his righteousness. You know, I have been a Christian for almost 40 years. I still struggle with what it means to seek God's kingdom in my life. A "To-Do" list tends to pop up in my mind. Read Bible (check). Pray (check). Go to church (check). Tithe (check). But it has to be more than that! What would possess a person to completely surrender EVERYTHING to pursue the treasures of God? What does it mean to be consumed by such a desire? As I get older, I am more and more convinced that surrender is a life-long, day-to-day process, not a one time prayer.
What do I hope for going forward, this upcoming school year? I desire to see God's diamonds. I want to become dizzy with excitement, so much so, that I frantically sell the temporal for the eternal. I have no idea what this will look like! Nonetheless, I will walk out into the field and pray that something shiny will catch my attention.
There was a man who discovered something in a field one day. A shiny object that flashed in the sun. When he bent down to examine it, his heart nearly lodged itself in his throat. He jumped up and looked quickly around. Nobody had seen him. His hand began to tremble, and his breathing became short. He could not take the object, because it was not his to take, yet it was very, very valuable. But he had to have it, you see. No matter what else happened, he realized in that moment that he had to own that treasure... Now let me ask you a question... Does this man want this treasure?... Ahh, yes. If you want to walk into the kingdom, you also must have this kind of desire. Without such desire, the man never would have done what he did next... He covered the diamonds so that no one would find them, and then he went home in a frenzy and sold his house and everything he owned... If he owned the field, he would also own the treasure. So he gave up everything and bought it. It's the way with the kingdom. You must want it like the man wanted the treasure. ~ Blessed Child, Bill Bright & Ted Dekker.
How much do I desire the kingdom of heaven in my life? I consider myself a believer in the truth that Jesus Christ's death and resurrection will transform broken hearts by grace alone. However, how much am I willing to surrender completely to this truth? How desperately do I want to be drowned by His love? And since drowning implies death, am I willing to stop inhaling the worldly oxygen that I am so used to consuming?
Two nights ago I dreamt I was talking to a former colleague, bemoaning the state of my pension fund. I have taught in five different educational institutions after being granted my Bachelor of Education degree. Sounds stupendous in terms of experience, but the locations of some of my teaching assignments coupled with time off for maternity, mothering preschoolers and extra education has resulted in a pathetic retirement plan. Thus, I was complaining in my dream as I processed our financial reality in REM sleep.
Clearly my dream confirms my worries about what will happen in my life 25 years from now, which may or may not even exist. As for God's kingdom??? It seems distant, unattainable, almost too common and (dare I say...) boring...
It is like I've seen diamonds -- and even committed to owning them! -- while being fascinated by the dung in the gutter.
I am not proposing that I should sell my house today and board some plane to serve in the jungles of Indonesia. Rather, I desire to stop the endless distress about human pursuits. Yes, my recent job loss has taken the wind out of my sails and many of the financial plans I had to finally "get ahead in life" have crashed against the rocks. And yes, there are times I am incredibly tempted to fantasize about how life might be somewhere else, where career opportunities are more accessible or the spiritual harvest fields are more ripe or I am more fantastical and worthy of being followed (haha!). Instead, I find myself here, in prairie southwest, where life is painfully slow at times.
Truthfully, I feel distracted, weary, confused. The diamonds have always been here. But the gutter preoccupies my mind. How I wish for the veil to be lifted for a moment, so I can see with God's eyes!!! What does it mean for me to sell everything to purchase diamonds in a field, here in this town, with my husband and two sweet kids???
So what am I trying to do next year? I am going to school. I am even teaching a Math course for the welding program at the college (a welcomed development). I will be busy. Maybe too busy? Life will feel out of balance for a while. I will encounter new kinds of stress (like writing exams -- ahhhh!!!). Where are the diamonds in all of this?
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33
Seek first his kingdom. And his righteousness. You know, I have been a Christian for almost 40 years. I still struggle with what it means to seek God's kingdom in my life. A "To-Do" list tends to pop up in my mind. Read Bible (check). Pray (check). Go to church (check). Tithe (check). But it has to be more than that! What would possess a person to completely surrender EVERYTHING to pursue the treasures of God? What does it mean to be consumed by such a desire? As I get older, I am more and more convinced that surrender is a life-long, day-to-day process, not a one time prayer.
What do I hope for going forward, this upcoming school year? I desire to see God's diamonds. I want to become dizzy with excitement, so much so, that I frantically sell the temporal for the eternal. I have no idea what this will look like! Nonetheless, I will walk out into the field and pray that something shiny will catch my attention.