Forget Equilibrium!

There is a danger in aspiring for the perfect, balanced life. For me, the perfect life is to teach mathematics with exceptional ability and maintain an beautifully organized home with all its nooks and crannies dusted. We own no financial debt and our savings are on track. My children have a fully engaged mother who spends quality time with them through various creative and intellectual pursuits. My daughter and son read fluently, spell with expertise, write with heed to grammar and know all their multiplication facts to 20 by the end of Grade 4. They never cry during piano practice. And they get along with each other like peas and carrots! Everyone is safe and happy and healthy. In that place of utopia, my husband has a devoted wife who creates romantic moments for him that are thoughtful and exhilarating. My meals are creative and delicious every day. All my relationships are well maintained and meaningful. Everyone who knows me as a friend, knows that I care because I am present with them in their joys and pain. I exercise diligently, eat healthy and sleep deeply. Spiritually, I engage in scripture with gusto and pray for each and everyone of my family members daily. I share the gospel without fear. I give generously without restraint. I exude love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Well, today I forgot to drink my morning tea as I rushed to get ready for church. I discovered the cold tea after Sunday School. No wonder I felt thirsty and groggy this morning! So I warmed it up and drank the lukewarm mixture, discovering the tea bag at the bottom. Yup, that is my state of affairs these days.

Seeking the perfect, balanced life is one of my idols. I have good intentions, but often my aim is the end. And Jesus is seen as the "means to the end". So I bumble through life trying incredibly hard to attain idyllic equilibrium. When I was single, my career and spiritual service was thriving. But I longed for a soulmate to share my life with. When I married, I discovered a deep friendship in one person. However, I lost a bunch of other friendships along the way since I lacked the time to invest in them. When I become a mother, I experienced the fierce love for a child that re-conceptualization the Father's love for me. Though, my teaching career came to a stand still. As my children become more independent, I invested time in creative and wellness pursuits. Yet I longed to engage in the intellectual. And now as I re-establish my teaching career and maintain some sense of calm at home, everything else has dropped to the wayside.

Balance is an insidious lie. Let. It. Go. Pursue TRUTH. Forget equilibrium! Tip the scales towards Jesus.

What if I lived every moment of my life with Jesus as the goal? What if I truly believed that I was IN Him and He is IN me? What if I drowned myself in the knowledge that God is Great (I do not have to be in control), God is Glorious (I do not have to fear others), God is Good (I do not have to look elsewhere for satisfaction) and God is Gracious (I do not have to prove myself)? How would my perspective to my imbalance change?

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