Where was I...?

There has been a dramatic long pause in my online conversation, one of those moments where you go off on a tangent and come back with the words, "Where was I...?"

So... where was I...?

I have been teaching and preparing to teach, whether that has been in the classroom as the substitute or in a small room off the church sanctuary co-leading a Small Group with your Daddy. My classroom teaching experience thus far has been mixed. Some days I feel incredibly valued as a few high school students take the extra time to say thank you for a mathematics lesson. Other days I wondering if my time is well spent dealing with disrespectful students who have very little value for my authority. Other times I do wonder if the advancements in cell phone technologies are just one big evil scheme created by a psychopathic control freak out to perpetually distract our youth from the present and trap them in the virtual. Alas, I digress...

As budget cuts loom and school boards warn of impending layoffs in response to provincial austerity measures, I do wonder what my future holds in a few months. While I have a temporary Mathematics contract for the months of May and June, I contemplate what employment path I should embrace. I love to teach. That's the truth. And I often find myself filling my spare time with teaching something to someone. It could be taking our refugee family to the stores and teaching them how to shop in a small city. Or facilitating our Small Group in a study of the book of Hebrews. Or instructing you children in things such as Bible memory or being kind and respectful to others or cleaning a washroom. And while I wish I could be remunerated for the perfect part-time teaching position in the fall, I am willing to submit to God's perfect plan for me. He knows my energy levels, my desire to be excellent and my priority to support my family in a healthy capacity. He understands our need to earn some extra cash to pay for the "extras". He also knows I ache to teach in a meaningful way, because He has equipped me with talent in guiding people towards understanding. Thus, I must trust it will all enfold in the ways He deems best.

I have been celebrating you. One of my favourite things to do as a Mother is to plan birthday parties. The "Indian-ness" in me desires to be extravagant while on a budget. (You know the Indian weddings that seem over the top??? Well, the hosts probably secured some sort of deal negotiating the particulars.) You, my daughter, are collecting the Lego Elves series. Thus, I created a Elves theme party with Lego decorations and a multi-coloured, multi-layered cake to match. We invited three of your close school friends, along with the "new girl" to make her feel welcomed. Most of the evening was spent in our "spa" located our living room, giving each other pedicures and manicures. The event was capped off with supper, cake and gifts.

You, my son, are the embodiment of physical activity. And, thanks to your Daddy, you are super into hockey right now (and know more stats than I will ever know). Your two favourite Canadian teams are the Toronto Maple Leafs (of course -- family tradition) and the Edmonton Oilers (the fan fav around here). As a result, we hosted a hockey themed party (Leafs versus Oilers), rented our church's gym, invited all 7 boys from your class and played floor hockey! We paused the activity to gobble down fruit, veggies and "Ice Rink" themed cake while quickly opening gifts so more activity can be enjoyed. I bet all boys had a sound sleep that night!

I have been reflecting on what it means to be humble. Our family verse/creed for the month of April has been Philippians 2:5-11:


A few instances have come up where I have had to pause and contemplate what it means to be humble. Jesus was the epitome of humility. Tomorrow we commemorate His death, where he laid down His heavenly rights -- and even His earthly rights of a fair trial -- and died for the sins of humanity. How many times do I struggle with being right in a situation, especially if I am justified to be right? What does it look like if humility is the better response to interpersonal conflict? How does one balance grace and truth? These are questions I am thinking of these days.

Where was I...? I am still here. Just busy being out there.

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