Brown Bear & Bob

You've become pet owners. Well, stuffy pet owners. Son, yours is Brown Bear, a small bear whom you treat as a dog. You've had Brown Bear every since you were an infant. Daughter, yours is Bob, a big cream coloured dog who is apparently Uncle Toot's son (Uncle Toot, the very large stuffed dog, lives in Grandma & Grandpa's apartment). You both take care of your pets as if they are real. Brown Bear is especially real. He peed in his bed last night and the blanket just HAD to be changed!

As a mother, I am delighted to witness a more compassionate side to both of you. I know you'd LOVE a real dog to enter our family, but alas, our regular trips to visit our extended family make pet ownership difficult. We won't get a cat, so don't get your hopes up about that alternative. Both your Daddy and I are not fans of cats. We have met "friendly" cats in other people's home, and enjoyed them. But we've never been compelled to own one for ourselves.

As for gerbils, hamsters, snakes, lizards, fish, birds, rabbits, etc. No way. Don't even think about it.

I often struggle with desiring certain things and then being bogged down with reality.

For instance, I like the idea of owning an acreage. I grew up on one as a kid, thus I have a nostalgic connection to acreages. You know -- the space, the quiet, the beautiful outside dog guarding the premises. But, I do not like the reality of maintaining an acreage. I don't want to own a riding mower or quad let alone deal with sewer and water issues.

You can translate this pattern to numerous desires that I've had at one point or another, like living overseas again or having a large family or obtaining my doctorate. And while each idea seemed promising at a certain time in my life, there were realities or values that cropped up that made the desire unattainable or unwanted. The cons overtook the pros.

Does God lead this way? Does He intentionally place mental blocks in our minds to deter a particular course of action? Or is this just my way of executing decisions, where God allows me to exercise my free will to choose one option over another (where either option would be considered a valid decision)? Or is it a combination thereof?

Truth be known, I struggle with making solid decisions. I'll often make a big decision and then inevitably fall into regret and doubt. Did I make the right decision? Should I have decided differently? Why did I decide to do it that way? What was I thinking back then especially in light of what I know now? As result, I waste all this time thinking about the past, wondering if it should have proceeded another way.

There are times I literally have to stop my thoughts in their tracks and proclaim: "This is the way life is now. There is nothing I can do about it anymore. Move on!" (Or your Daddy says something similar to snap me out of my negative reverie.)

Now to be positive! Here are some decisions I will never, ever regret in retrospect:
  1. I have faith in God, Jesus Christ & the Holy Spirit.
  2. I am grateful that I became a teacher. Teaching is my passion. It was a logical choice in University. And a good career to continue today.
  3. I am thankful I married your Daddy. He is perfect for me. Our marriage isn't perfect, but then again, whose is? We are perfect together in our imperfections.
  4. I am ever so blessed to have you two as our children. Both your Daddy and I desired you two so, so much. Now that you are here, we can never imagine our lives without you.
As for Brown Bear and Bob? Enjoy them. Keep on pretending that they are real. You never know, it may convince us to get a real dog one day.

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