Play Date Ponderings

I've entered the play date world. Not the one where I arrange an outing for a Mom and I to visit while our kids play together. But rather the one where a kid randomly shows up at our house and asks, "Can I come over to play?" Or, "Can A. come to my house to play?"

Okay, I am a bit of a control freak. I don't think I am as obsessive as the definition of the phrase implies. But I do need a measure of control over aspects of my life and the lives of you children. I don't enjoy just letting people come over "willy-nilly", especially if it happens often. And, it really bothers me when I have no idea if the parent has even allowed their kid to meander over. While I do consider myself a hospitable person who is eager to open our home to others, the introvert side of me cherishes family time without the presence of visitors. As for you visiting your friend's home? I am okay if I know the parents and if a parent is present. If I have no idea who the parent is, I hesitate and will say no.

Boundaries. I believe I need to define them in terms of the whole play date world. Now, I don't want our family's boundaries to be so restrictive that you kids have no fun with other neighborhood kids. After all, there is something beautiful about kids of different backgrounds and beliefs hanging out (and it is a way to make natural connections with neighbors). But neither do I want our house to be chaos, where I am often managing random kids who just pop over for after school snack and play. Or, worst yet, neither do I want something bad to happen at your friend's house because I as a parent didn't employ due diligence in making sure the environment was safe.

Today, I hosted a play date for you and one of your classmates who is on your bus route. It was a bit strange, in the sense that your friend just called me up and asked to come over one day after school. I asked to speak to the Mom to arranged a date that worked for our family. This afternoon, the daughter was dropped off by her Mom and I took you and her to the spray park. You two had a blast while I watched you from a distance, making sure you were safe and behaving appropriate. A couple of hours later, your friend's Mom picked her up. I thought it was a bit strange, in the sense that this Mom had never met me before except for a brief "hello and thank you" at her daughter's birthday party, to which you were invited. I doubt she ascertained much detail about me through that moment. Now, if she invited you over for a play date, I would insist in a kind and diplomatic fashion that I come over to visit as well.

Now this is where I need to breath and provide myself with perspective. It is very easy for me to judge this woman and bring her parenting style to question. But truly, I know very little of this woman. I can choose to avoid her because she seems different than me (or because of rumors I've heard) or I can choose to spend time with her to better understand her situation. I will aim to do the latter.

As for these kids who are entering our home from mostly non-Christian backgrounds, I am focusing my thoughts on Christ. I am praying that I will love my neighbor's children as I love my own children. May these kids and families see Jesus in our family and desire that for themselves.

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