Summer Contemplations

Peace Country
It is hard to believe that it is the second half of July. We have enjoyed our summer thus far as we reconnect with family in various locations. We've been celebrating milestones, marveling at God's creation, and eating far too much good food (Operation August Slim Down here I come!). We've had many thought provoking discussions with loved ones. And, boy, we've played a lot of board games!

But my introvert nature is starting to kick in. I feel I need time to process the many thoughts that are churning within. Here is a snap shot of my contemplations:

Coming of Age. It was wonderful to reconnect with my younger sister and her family this summer. Truthfully, it has been challenging to stay meaningfully connected due to the physical distance that separates us and our very intense life as mothers of preschoolers. Thus, spending some concentrated time together was beneficial in strengthening our relationship. And you know what I've noticed? My sister has grown up! Okay, okay let me clarify. My sister grew up a long time ago. It's just that I've finally noticed. As a child, I was expected to exercised my firstborn rights by doling out advice, setting the godly example, and motivating my siblings to action. I guess it made sense to me that I would continue this role into my adult years. But the more time passes, the more I realize that my sister can truly stand on her own without my help. A matter of fact, she can out-smart me and out-perform me in many, many, MANY areas. So maybe I've come of age, finally, where I am allowing myself to reconceptualize my relationships with my siblings as a grown woman. Question: Have you noticed similar changes in your relationships with your siblings? What or who has helped you "Come of Age".

Friends Come and Go. Usually my summers are spend connecting with at least some of my friends in locations other than my hometown. But not this year, formally anyways. And it feels strange. About a couple of years ago I prided myself over the number of friends I kept in contact with. Then, I moved. Sadly, the number of people that I connect with on regular basis from my past location has started to dwindle. In some cases, this reduction is blamed on my indifference (or I have been so busy with family that it is difficult to schedule a visit). In other cases, it is because of lack of reciprocity on a friend's part. I understand this is normal. After all, out of sight, out of mind. Nonetheless, it is difficult. Question: What process do you go through to help you sort through which friendships to pursue and which friendships to let go?

Stop Explaining Why. As a child, I defined my self-worth and righteousness by the approval ratings of people I valued in my life. While the Bible was my "Guide", people seemed to have more influence over me. If my parents were happy with my decisions and my choices in life, then I felt justified. If I received kudos from teachers, professors, and spiritual mentors, then life felt good inside. But as I made the transition into adulthood, things became complicated. I started receiving conflicting messages from individuals of comparative spirituality. The result for me: confusion in decision making! And stress! After all, how can two godly people strongly believe in polar philosophies? Who is right and who should I follow (and please)? Lately, I am learning that I need to be more selfish. I know that sounds strange. Nonetheless, I need to stop thinking about others think and contemplate on what God and I desire together FIRST, and then what my husband and I desire as a family unit. Everyone else is rightfully third. In addition, I must stop explaining my reasons for my actions for the sake of human approval. Question: Does that make any sense? Or am I losing my mind? 

Enough for today...

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