Calling All Families of Two

This is most probably IT. Two kids. No more. We discussed this topic while we were dating. We were pretty certain. If God so willed for us to have children, TWO would be our magic number. Why? Many reasons, several of which centered on taking our age, adding twenty or so years, and realizing how old we would be when our last child would graduate.

Yet I fear. Both my husband and I come from larger families. We love our siblings. We get along. We actually enjoying being in the same space as each other. We believe in being open and honest with each other. And when disagreements arise, we strive towards healing.

In the younger years, we cherished the synergy that was generated by having more than one sibling. Personally, I remember being close to each sibling during different periods of my life. And when one sibling was being incredibly annoying, another sibling provided moral support during those "tragic" days as a child. I could not imagine my life without my siblings. I am sure my husband would agree.

Two kids. So, what if they don't get along? What if they hate each other? What if they go their separate ways in life and never talk to each other? Are these questions generated out of paranoia on my part? Maybe. But I believe my fears are fueled by encountering many families of two adult children that seem discontent.

For instance, I have met many women who have just one sister. The sisters are very different in personality and don't have much in common. Often one is quite responsible (the elder) and the other is very phlegmatic (the younger). The sisters spend time with each other more out of obligation than joy. And sometimes, the relationship between the two sisters is marked by competition.

Or I have encountered women who have just one brother. Because of the different genders, the competition level is less in comparison to same gender sibling pairs. Usually the siblings enjoy being with one another. However, the two siblings find it difficult to disclose gender specific issues with each other. It seems like the female sibling often longs for a sister. Maybe the brother feels the same way? I don't know, since I tend to be friends with the sister.

As for families with just two brothers, I am not sure about the dynamics since I have limited experiences with observing such an example.

I understand that every family composition has its challenges. And no matter how many children one elects to raise, the parents still have to encourage the children to get along and to learn to love each other. Nonetheless, I am asking for advice. I am calling all families of two. What did your parents do (or didn't do) to foster a healthy and happy sibling relationship? Or if you are currently parenting two children, what are you doing in this area? I'd like to know.

Popular posts from this blog

Is God Good?

During "at home learning", I helped my daughter design an experiment on plants. She set up four identical pots with the same amount of soil in the same location on our deck (controlling her variables, right?). She planted two bean seeds in each pot. She watered three out of the four plants with various amounts of water (1/4 cup, 1/2 cup and 1 cup). The fourth plant only received whatever water naturally fell from the sky. At the end of one month, her hypothesis was partially verified. She thought the 1/4 cup water plant and 1/2 cup water plant would grow the best, which was true in the end. On the other hand, she guessed the others would not germinate at all. Interestingly enough, while the one that was drench in water (1 cup) did not germinate, the one she did not water at all actually grew! It germinated late but had the most steady growth. Is God good? I have been thinking about this question a lot these days. A global pandemic is still raging over our planet decimat...
Read more

Daunting {But Not Impossible}

I rarely watch the news. I catch up on the world's happenings -- where often the horror is reported -- via Google News. Or the brief blurb before classic rock on our favourite radio station. But very occasionally, at the end of the day, I take in the images of national and global headlines. Yesterday I watched the masses trek across Europe, searching for a safe haven away from war-torn Syria. I witnessed little kids crying as they tried to rub away tear gas sprayed by unrelenting border police. The message? You are not welcome in this country. I choked up as a father and his son fell to the ground after being tripped up by guards. The look of desperation on people's faces was heart breaking. Our country is nearing a Federal Election in October. Many voters are curious how the next Prime Minister will address the Syrian Refugee Crisis. Here is an excerpt from The Globe and Mail : Mr. Mulcair [NDP] and Mr. Trudeau [Liberal] condemn Mr. Harper [Conservative] for lacking...
Read more

Banking in the Now

This month we are trying something different: banking in the now instead of the tomorrow. Oh, it is nothing new, really. I used to operate like this in my single days. But then the lure of credit cards with reward programs persuaded me otherwise. While I never gave Visa the joy in collecting any interest payments from our bank accounts and I always payed our credit card bill before the 21 days of grace were up, I probably spent more than I should have some months. Why? Because I didn't have to pay for it immediately . It was not until last year that my credit card habits started to bother my conscience. Up to that point, I felt proud of the fact that the credit card company was paying me to use their plastic. I received stuff for free, even after paying my annual fee. Free fuel. Free flights. Free hotels. Free is good, right? My perspective started to change after I read a blog post penned by my sister. Her and her husband cut up their credit cards after a series of events, o...
Read more