Wait

Some days I wish to just run away to some lone hill in the middle of nowhere. There, I'd open my arms wide, tilt my head back, and let the wind sweep over me. And I'd breathe in warm air and let nature overtake my senses. Then, I'd let go. I'd let go of all the anxieties, fears, hopes, plans, dreams, visions, frustrations, and all that other stuff I am too scared to admit I feel.

Silence would follow. Silence... Then God would speak...

"Why are you here, my child?" He'd ask.

"I'm tired, Lord," I'd reply.

"Tired of what?" would come the answer.

"You know..." I'd shrug.

"I do. I know more deeply than anyone can. But you need to tell me. I desire to hear it from you," He'd gently whisper.

"My heart is filled with so much. I feel like I'll burst. I desire so much. Some things are frivolous. Others are meaningful. I'm finding it difficult to prioritize. What should I do? What should I not do? Who should I be? Who should I not be? I have no answers. I'm confused. I'm visionless!" I'd cry out in desperation.

"What are your dreams?" He'd ask.

"I don't know... I don't know anymore," I'd mumble.

"Yes, you do. You know," came the response.

"But some of these dreams are not RIGHT!" I'd say in exasperation.

"Forget about what is RIGHT. Just confess..."

"Ugh. Confess... I dream of excelling in environmental activism and social justice. I desire to question everything that graces my pantry shelves, anything that is placed on my skin, and everything I choose to throw away. I hope to be a 'super travelling mom' who takes her children on international volunteering adventures to change the world," I'd rattle off, breathlessly.

Then, I'd continue, sheepishly, "I dream of accolades and fame. I want to stand in front of audiences and tantalize them with my words. I selfishly yearn to hear applause and view standing ovations. And I want blurbs written about me, on the back of best sellers, that sound oh-so-important." I'd gulp in embarrassment.

"I dream of being a hospitality queen who opens her home for extravagant BBQ's. My yard would be pristine. My kitchen would have a funky peninsula laden with delectable appetizers and tempting desserts. And psychedelic lights would shimmer above the cuisine. And my guests would feel like they were royalty." I couldn't help but grin at the picture I painted in my mind.

"Oh this is stupid," I'd murmur as my smile slowly disappeared.

Silence. All I'd hear is silence... Then a whisper...

"Thank you."

"For what?" I'd ask.

"For speaking the truth, not matter how ridiculous it sounds."

"Well, what should I do?" I'd implored.

"Wait." The word would echo in the wind.

"For what?" I'd ask, perplexed.

The wind would pick up again while a flock of birds took flight from the valley below. But my question on the lone hill remained unanswered.

And I'd be content.

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