13 Hours of Rain

Dear Children, I was scared into the Kingdom. At the age of six, I sat in church, doodling on my Sunday School papers when the preacher got to me. "You are a sinner." Yup, I'd agree. "You are heading to Hell," came the fiery conclusion.  Uh-oh! Don't want to go there. Thus, THE "Prayer" was said. And right there and then, I was officially "Born-Again." I don't doubt my conversion experience. That moment was life changing for me. My memories of that time are vivid! However, I kind of wish I wasn't scared into believing. The reason for my regret is I think this experience as well as a lot of theology I was taught as a kid contributed to my image of a God hell-bent on punishing His creation. Grace was a foreign concept. Now kids, let me set the record straight. I am not denying that the concept of Hell exists (i.e. separation from God). I just question how it physically looks like. But this post isn't about dissecting the...

Dear Children, Sometimes I wonder how you will turn out, let's say, twenty years from now. Will you be fighting over toys or whacking each other to prove a point? I sincerely hope not! Instead, I earnestly pray that you will HONOR each other. Your Daddy and I are reading a book together entitled, "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes... in you and your kids!" by Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller. It is a parenting book, one of the few parenting books – wait a minute – the ONLY parenting book that we as your parents are attempting to read together. There are many parenting resources out there, found in numerous self-help aisles, websites, and magazines. And every parenting unit seems to have its own style. Sometimes it can be very overwhelming to figure out WHAT to do! Anyway, last spring one of my friends came to visit me. She brought her four children along. And it was fascinating to see how her kids interacted with each other. There were moments...

Dear Lord, It has been a little over two years since we moved to this geographic location. And while I feel settled for the most part, there is another part of me that feels anxious. I long for authentic connections with others. But first, I must thank you that you have provided me contentment in being a stay-at-home Mom. I wear my job description as a badge of honor and privilege. You have blessed me with two beautiful, energy-packed, normal children – one of each gender – a special gift of grace to my husband and I. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. It is liberating that I don't feel like I need to tout my academic credentials in the face of others, as some stupid way of making myself feel worth it. Now I understand more clearly: I am a Homemaker. That's more than good enough for me. However, I sometimes feel alone in this journey and wish for past days of camaraderie, when I associated with fellow educators of the same faith in a distant land (best two years of m...

Dear Children, I do not know if you have figured out that Friday is "Errand Day" in our household. I drop off your Daddy at school and then both of you and I accomplish some tasks together. Today was such a day. Except for one unfortunate and beautiful moment. With your Daddy heading towards the hallowed halls of learning, I take the wheel and start to drive. I'm tired. My mind is whirling over money issues and how I need to potentially fiddle with funds to repair a water heater and clean our carpets (two unrelated maintenance items, by the way). I press some buttons on the dash to listen to a worship song, a song that might be the closing melody of an anticipated Missions Event. I yawn, while thinking. Then, I see a couple of RCMPs stationed at a school zone speed trap. I stop at the octagonal red sign across from them and make a right turn. A cop car pulls behind me. And the blue and red lights are flashing. "What did I do?" I moaned as I pull over. ...

Dear Children, Canadian Thanksgiving is upon us, and it is here that I desire to impart some lessons I'm learning at this stage in my life. It is my hope and prayer that both of you will be thankful individuals. What I am talking about goes beyond using manners to being truly grateful to God in spite of the circumstances you see yourself in. However, before I unpack this idea, let me share your recent thankfulness lists as described by yourself! My daughter, you are thankful to God for: Sun Clouds Books Doctors Bags Toy Hammer Bibles Pictures Spring House My son, you are thankful to God for: Frogs Giraffes Cows Trees Daddy Fan Clock Books Mommy Your sister I find it fascinating how your lists are different, except for "Books", which you both enjoy thoroughly. A., your list focuses on elements of nature, such as sun, clouds, and the season of Spring. You also appreciate doctors, especially since you are recovering from an injured wrist. I ...

Dear Daughter, Your Daddy discovered my desire to be a stay-at-home-Mom the first time he met me. It was a blind date set up by mutual friends. There we sat in a typical “bar & grill” restaurant eating standard North American cuisine. Our conversation turned to reminiscing about our childhood days. Both your Daddy and I spoke of how we benefited from Mothers who sacrificed careers to parent their children full-time. After our disclosures, my friend asked me right in front of your Daddy, “Is that what you want to be one day, a stay-at-home-Mom?” “Yes,” I firmly responded. Forward time to about 7.5 years later, where I am here, at home, with you and your brother. I recently resigned a permanent teaching contract with a highly sought over school board to follow your Daddy to a smaller community to (1) support his professional career and to (2) stay home full-time. Has it been worth it? “Yes,” I emphatically state. But it is not easy. Oh no. There are days when I want to scream i...

This is your last chance folks! Last chance to comment on this blog. No, I'm not ending it. Not yet, anyway. But, I'm partially changing the purpose of my blog from its original intent. Almost four years ago I wrote: "...connecting with people in real time and space is not always a reality. Therefore, I need a space for my reflections, albeit virtual. I need a potential readership for my authorship, even if this 'paperback' collects dust on a used book rack. I need a framework to be intellectual, especially since my day consists of using simple sentences when talking to my beautiful baby daughter (and it is a delight to talk to her!). And yes, sometimes, I NEED to be alone..." I started this blog as a framework for intellectual stimulation and introspective reflections. And even though I acknowledged that these words would be read by a choice few, I now realize that I've desired more kudos from this space than is realistic to expect. After all, ...